


Shattered Reflection

by SomaC



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fake Amnesia, Gen, Homeworld Hierarchy (Steven Universe), Mystery, Parallel Universes, Possible Character Death, Slow To Update, Some Romance, Swearing, adding tags as I go, not really tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26983930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomaC/pseuds/SomaC
Summary: Steven is thrust into a strange world and must find a way to get back home before it's too late.(Or, Steven has been acting strange lately)Coverdone by paw_pao
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Everyone
Comments: 48
Kudos: 59





	1. In The White Light, A Hand Reaches Through

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flynnaw00](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flynnaw00/gifts).



> Inspired by a character on flynnaw00's[Tumblr blog](https://sutimetravelau.tumblr.com/).  
> Chapter titles are based off [this song](https://youtu.be/fBFWOEdxd_c/) from Fire Emblem Fates.  
> [Cover](https://imgur.com/i4oWkxn/) done by paw_pao  
> Updates will be really slow
> 
> This fic takes place during Growing Pains.

Steven ran his fingers through his hair, making sure to get rid of any tangles or knots he found along the way. He inspected his reflection, and frowned at the dark rings under his eyes. Connie would be here soon and he wanted to look presentable, like he _hadn’t_ spent the last few days wallowing alone in his room.

“I can do this.” He contorted his lips into an awkward imitation of a smile, and kept the strained expression up for a few seconds before sighing and allowing it to fall lifeless. It was no use. Lying had never been his strong suit, and Connie was far too perceptive to fall for his cheerful facade, _especially_ after the incident on the beach.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he froze. No doubt, it was Connie reminding him of his upcoming appointment at the hospital. Not really somewhere he was eager to go, but she had insisted and he had eventually relented. It would be fine. He had faced things that were _much_ worse than a hospital before.

He took in a deep breath and focused on calming his nerves. He flashed himself another grin, this one slightly more convincing than the last. Yes, there was nothing to worry about. Everything would be just fin—

A loud _crack_ pierced the air. Deep fissures branched out on the surface of the bathroom mirror, distorting his reflection until it was something unrecognizable. His hair looked shaggy and unkempt, crimson eyeshadow standing out against a pale face. His jacket was black with yellow trimmings, a blood-red Diamond in the place of his usual gold star.

Blinking, he looked down at himself only to see that nothing had changed. He was still in his pink jacket and jeans. It was his reflection that was different. He leaned in closer, trying to get a better look when his reflection did the impossible and _winked_ at him. He jumped, leaping away from the mirror, heart hammering against his chest.

“I did it,” his reflection cheered in a voice identical to his own. “I _finally_ did it!”

Another voice coming from inside the mirror spoke, “The connection is unstable. Attempting a transfer now wou—”

“Shut up! Just do it already.”

The mirror glowed a soft white, growing brighter and brighter with each passing second. Steven turned away, screwing his eyes shut when the light became too blinding to look at directly. There was a loud _boom_ , and a shockwave ripped through the small bathroom, sending him crashing against the nearest wall. 

He landed in a crumpled heap on the cold floor, ears ringing and head throbbing. He groaned, blinking away the dark spots that dotted his vision. The sound of glass crunching under boots steadily grew louder until it was right next to him.

“Nice bathroom.” Chills ran down Steven’s spine at the sound of his own voice. He must have been going insane. Reflections didn’t speak, _couldn’t speak_. It should have been impossible, but the figure looming over him proved otherwise. Someway, somehow his reflection had come to life.

Before he could properly wrap his head around the situation, a black boot slammed into his chest, leaving him breathless and in pain. He tried to get up, but the boot kept him pinned to the floor.

“Get off me!” Steven grabbed onto the boot and pushed, his arms shaking under the weight of his attacker. His reflection was strong, _really_ strong. He was using his full strength, and he could barely lift the boot an inch off his chest.

His near twin peered down at him, a sharp and twisted grin on his face. “You won't mind if I borrow your clothes, right?”

He wasn't given a chance to respond. A sickening _crack_ pierced the air as the boot slammed against his head.

* * *

Despite spending a large portion of her childhood in and around hospitals, Connie never grew a fondness for them. The cold white walls, the eerie silence that seemed to cling to every room, and the strong smell of disinfectant that permeated the air made her stomach churn. 

To distract herself, she glanced over at Steven who sat stone-faced and stiff in one of the many uncomfortable plastic chairs that littered the waiting room. His eyes were glued to a pamphlet as he slowly leafed through it. He had been uncharacteristically quiet since they had arrived, nodding and giving one word answers to everything she said.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, breaking the silence.

He turned a page. “Fine.”

She frowned. Steven didn’t even look up from the pamphlet which, upon closer inspection, she could see was upside down, and in Spanish.

“It’s okay if you’re a little nervous.” she said, attributing his silence to their location. He had been very resistant to the idea of visiting a doctor, after all. “Believe it or not, I don’t really like hospitals that much either.”

He paused mid page turn, his eyebrows squishing together. 

“Hospital?” he mumbled under his breath so softly she barely even heard it. She waited for him to repeat himself or elaborate, but he did neither and instead turned the page of the pamphlet he was ‘reading’.

Ok, so that was really weird. 

Then again everything about Steven had been really weird lately. From the random swelling, to the glowing pink skin, and the… 

_“Connie... will you marry me?”_

Connie’s face flushed. Her cheeks burned bright red. Thankfully, the door to the hospital room opened before she could dwell on the memory.

Mom walked out into the hallway closely followed by a short, chubby businessman. She was reading something off her clipboard while the man absentmindedly nodded in agreement.

“... and be sure to monitor the amount of sodium in your diet,” she advised, but the businessman didn’t seem to be paying her any mind, merely humming in agreement before sauntering off toward the direction of the exit. She let out a sigh of frustration, scribbling something down on her clipboard before finally turning to greet them.

Steven remained seated. His eyes were glazed over, gazing past the pamphlet at something only he could see. 

“Steven?” Mom called, frowning at his lack of response.

“He’s just a little nervous,” she explained while trying to fend off her own growing concern. She placed a worried hand on his shoulder. “Steven?”

He jumped. The plastic chair scraped against the floor as he rushed to place some distance between the two of them. His eyes snapped back into focus, the fog that clouded his vision lifting and giving way to a fierce glare.

Connie’s head jerked back, breath hitching in her throat. Steven’s eyes had narrowed into menacing slits that pierced through her very soul. She blinked, and the silent fury in his eyes disappeared, replaced by a bored indifference. Had she simply imagined it?

“Sorry.” He flashed her a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Aside from raising an eyebrow, Mom did not comment on his strange outburst. “Yes, well, let’s get you to an examination table,” she said, before turning on her heel and disappearing into the room.

Connie pushed aside her worries and moved to follow after her, stopping when she noticed Steven had yet to move from his spot. Like a statue, he remained emotionless and unmoving.

“Steven?” she called, a tinge of worry leaking into her tone. “Is… everything all right?” 

“I’m fine.” He flashed her another strained smile.

Her frown deepened. There was definitely something he wasn’t telling her. She didn’t want to pry and risk making him uncomfortable, but she also hated being unable to help her best friend.

“You can tell me anything,” she said.“You know that, right?”

Steven responded with a slight and almost imperceptible tilting of his head. He was staring at her the way one would stare at a particularly difficult puzzle. There was also something swirling in those brown eyes of his, an emotion she couldn’t identify. 

Whatever the case, it was clear he wouldn’t be telling her anything. Instead, he plastered on another fake grin and uttered more reassurances. “I’m fine,” he said. “Everything’s fine.”

Connie grabbed his hand and threaded their fingers together, hesitating slightly when he stiffened. Steven didn’t pull away, but she got the impression the contact wasn’t very welcome. Was he mad at her because of the incident on the beach?

“I… I’m here if you ever need to talk,” she said, locking gazes with him. “I mean it.”

Sadly, Steven remained silent, and Connie looked away in defeat after a few moments. She sighed and led him into the room where Mom was patiently waiting. 

His eyes scanned the room with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. Connie led him over to an examination table and gestured for him to sit, which he did after a moment of hesitation. She explained the situation to her mom who was confident she could find the cause of his strange swelling episodes.

She sent Steven a reassuring smile. “I'm sure it'll all be fine.”

Steven’s face was an emotionless wall. The only indication that he’d heard her was the stiff nod he gave. She spouted a couple more reassurances, making sure to keep her smile up before excusing herself under the guise of giving him some privacy. Her smile fell the instant she stepped out into the hallway. 

She pulled out her phone and began to dial Mr. Universe.

* * *

The shrill sound of scraping metal pierced the air, clearing the remaining tendrils of sleep from Steven’s foggy mind. The cold hard floor made for a horrible bed and aggravated his already aching back. He sat up, his head throbbing in protest to the sudden movement, and did a quick scan of his surroundings.

A single ray of light illuminated the otherwise dark room. Panic blanketed his mind as he struggled to recall what had happened to him. He had been getting ready for his trip to the hospital, and then… 

_Shattered glass and deranged laughter._

_A smirking stranger who wore his face._

_A black boot crashing down on his head._

He'd been attacked.

Steven shot up off the floor, summoning his shield as he readied himself for a fight. He peered into the darkness that surrounded him, searching for his violent reflection. Once he was certain no attack was forthcoming, he dispelled his shield and focused on the ear-splitting sound echoing throughout the room.

Stumbling blindly, he headed in the direction where the noise was the loudest, nearly falling on his face when he tripped on a large pink bag. The bag—a first aid kit—Steven realized, had a silhouette of a human plastered on its front. Zipping it open revealed an assortment of bandages, pills, and other medical supplies. Thinking it useful, he carried it with him as he continued toward the source of the noise.

Even in the dark, Steven was able to make out the faint outline of a person. At least, he hoped it was a person. Still aching and bruised, he wasn't equipped to fight anything in that moment.

“Hello?” he called, pausing as he waited for a response.

The noise stopped for a split second, and then resumed _much_ louder than it had been before. Steven winced as the unpleasant sound aggravated his pounding head. He took long strides to quickly close the distance between himself and the stranger, hoping to stop the noise before he went completely deaf. 

Finally reaching the corner, Steven rapidly brought a hand up to cover his nose. His eyes could do nothing to filter out the grotesque sight of smeared red across the wall. His stomach heaved.

Amongst the blood lay a human slumped on the floor, leaning against the wall for support, and a jagged dagger securely in their grasp. There was a slight tremble to their arm as they slashed at the wall, slowly dragging their blade against the already damaged surface. The resulting high pitched tone assaulted his aching ears.

“Hey…”

There was no response. He placed a hesitant hand on the stranger’s shoulder, his eyes never leaving the sharp blade.

They froze, knuckles turning white as their grip on the dagger tightened. “Go. Away.”

The voice gave him pause, it was one he would recognize anywhere. _“Connie?”_

The stranger finally whipped around to face him. Her hair was shorter and she wore a scowl instead of her usual smile, but it was definitely Connie.

“Leave me al—”

The words died in her throat, and the dagger clattered onto the ground.

Connie’s face twisted in a grimace. She lurched forward, falling onto her knees as violent coughs racked her body. Steven was at her side in an instant, reaching to help her up. She choked out a string of harsh words as she shoved him away and forced herself to her feet. Her breaths came in ragged gasps as she glowered. "Leave me alone."

The metallic odor of fresh blood suddenly grew a hundred times stronger. _Connie's_ blood, he realized, heart sinking in horror.

“Connie, you're bleeding!” he cried.

“No shit, Sherlock,” Connie seethed through the hacking.

Steven blinked at her, eyes wide. For a moment he had no idea how to respond, then, she spat out blood and he was once again at her side.

With a thundering heart and shaky hands, Steven pulled the bandages and a small bottle of antiseptic out of the bag. The supplies were immediately slapped out of his hands. The bandages fell into the pool of blood, becoming a soaking red mess, and the bottle rolled far out of his reach.

He stared, skin still stinging from the hit. “Connie?”

Connie reached over, a pained expression on her face as she grabbed the first aid kit. She chucked it across the room. It’s contents scattered all over the floor and disappeared into the darkness.

She sent him a fierce glare, her eyes boring through his skull. “Leave me alone.”

“Leave you alone? Connie, you...” He bit his lip, eyes darting to the pool of blood quickly growing around her. He needed to do something, and soon. “Let me help you.”

Connie laughed, a harsh and mocking sound. “Since when do you care?”

"How could you even _ask_ that?" Steven clenched his jaw and took in a deep breath. "Of course I care. I love you, Connie."

Connie's eyes went wide, and she stared at Steven as if seeing him for the first time.

 _"Please."_ He shot her a pleading look. "Let me help you."

She looked away. "Whatever."

Taking that as permission, Steven wasted no time and searched for the wound. Lifting up the hem of her bloodied shirt revealed a deep gash running across her stomach. He winced at the jagged wound. What had happened to her?

The medical supplies were long gone, but he still had his healing spit. His mouth was dry from worry, but he managed to wet his palm regardless. Connie hissed in pain when he pressed his hand against the wound.

Connie shoved him, glaring daggers. “What the fu—”

She fell silent, watching in amazement as her skin stitched itself together, leaving nothing behind but a trail of dried blood.

“You.. healed me?”

Before Steven could reply, a sharp pain erupted in his head. He dropped to the floor, his body bucking and convulsing. The pain was unbearable. His skin glowed a soft pink, illuminating the dark room. Connie rushed to his side, shouting his name, and shaking him. 

A dark, inky shadow began to creep over his vision. Steven's eyes closed shut as he allowed sleep to take him.

* * *

When Priyanka handed Steven a pen, he didn’t just take it, he studied it, turning it over and over between his fingers as though looking for hidden traps. He filled out the form in silence, his free hand clenched and unclenched at his side, knuckles turning white from the effort.

"If you don't mind me asking, who's your GP?"

Steven gave her a blank stare.

"You know, your general practitioner? Your regular doctor?"

Steven blinked.

"You _have_ been to the doctor before, right?"

Steven paused, then slowly shook his head.

She would have a talk with his father later, Priyanka decided. A growing sense of shock washed over her, as she looked over the paperwork Steven had filled out. Illegible nonsense was scrawled all over the forms. She set it aside, deciding not to comment on the strange doodles. 

"Get undressed, and let's get you into a hospital gown." She offered him a gown, but Steven made no move to grab it. "Steven?"

“No.” His voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. 

Priyanka took his response in stride, attributing his odd behavior to fear. "I can't continue with the physical examination if you don't change."

Steven relented, slipping his jacket off at a glacial pace, looking like he'd rather be doing anything else. With nothing left to cover his arms, a long jagged scar became visible. It snaked down his forearm, and the skin around it was discolored, tinted an unnatural blue. 

She gasped and reached out to examine the scar, but Steven leapt off the examination table before she could.

“Don’t touch me,” he said, a quiet fire in his voice.

Priyanka raised her hands in a placating gesture. Steven eyed her warily, but didn't react. She took a step forward, and he immediately scrambled backwards, placing as much distance between them as possible. When his back hit a wall, and he realized he had nowhere to run, Steven panicked. His eyes went wide and fearful, as he scanned the room for a means of escape. His breaths began to come out in short erratic puffs.

“Steven.” She said his name slowly, as if to make sure he was listening. “I need you to take slow and deep breaths.”

Her words fell on deaf ears. Steven's gaze passed right through her, his eyes distant. She placed a steadying hand on his shoulder, hoping to bring him back to reality, but Steven’s demeanor quickly shifted. 

His soft features hardened into a scowl, lips curling back into a snarl. "Don't _fucking_ touch me!"

* * *

Connie ended the call, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Mr. Universe would be here soon. Hopefully, having his dad around would make the situation easier on Steven.

The muffled sounds of distant shouting cut her relief short. Worried, she began to make her way back to Steven, gradually picking up speed as the shouts grew louder. 

"... stay away from me!" Steven's voice was frantic.

"Try to calm down, Steven," Mom said.

Connie flung the door open, and stood frozen in shock. A glowing pink dome continued to shrink in around Mom, threatening to crush her. Steven watched, seemingly unconcerned. He muttered to himself, clutching at his head. Connie had no idea what was going on, but she definitely knew she needed to put a stop to it.

“Steven?” 

He froze, dropping the dome in surprise. He slowly turned to face her, his eyes glazed over and confused. He clutched at his arm, pulling it protectively against his chest. 

“What’s going on?” Connie began to approach, stopping when Steven shot her a glare.

“Stay away from me!” he barked, and immediately collapsed onto his knees. “That's an order!”

“Take deep breaths, Steven,” Mom advised, keeping her distance. “You’re safe."

"Steven, _please_..." Her voice took on a pleading tone. "Tell me what's wrong, let me help you."

Steven ignored her, keeping his gaze glued to the floor.

Connie stepped forward, cautiously offering her hand to him. Steven looked from Connie to her mother and back again, as if confused as to why either was offering to help him.

"It's okay.” She gently nudged him, trying to take his hand and help him to his feet. 

Steven slowly reached out to her, like a wild animal being tamed by a caring zoo keeper. She helped him up, careful not to alarm him with any sudden movements. The three of them walked slowly to the examination table. Connie’s concerned eyes remained glued to his face, searching for any indication of what troubled him.

Mom handed Steven his jacket, making sure not to invade his personal space. He rushed to put it on, and in the process uncovered the arm he'd been clutching. Connie's heart sank. A large teardrop-shaped scar dripped down his forearm. Before she could ask about it, Steven turned a bright pink. He shook his head, as if to rid himself of the color, and muttered some harsh words.

"Steven?" 

He abruptly fell silent, slumping over, completely motionless.


	2. Embrace The Dark You Call A Home

A month passed, then two.

And yet, despite the many days Connie spent at his bedside—talking, waiting, hoping—Steven remained asleep. His face was pallid, as white as the bed sheets draped over his thinning frame. The feeding tube was supposed to prevent that, but she hadn’t noticed any improvements. Even Rose's tears had failed to make any difference, an event which had caused the gems to break out in hysterics.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was going to drive her insane, each sound was a constant reminder of her powerlessness. It was frustrating, being unable to do anything as Steven withered away before her. Everyday he seemed to grow just a bit weaker. His face, once plump and full of life, had become gaunt and bony.

What if he didn’t improve? Worse, what if he never woke up? She lived in fear of a day where she would come over to visit Steven only to discover that he had…

Connie reached over and gave Steven’s hand a firm squeeze. She couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought.

“He’ll wake up when he’s ready.” Connie glanced towards the door where Mr. Universe stood, a cup of coffee in hand. He moved to sit across from her, on the other side of Steven’s hospital bed. “He’s a tough kid. I know he’s going to be just fine.”

Her hold on Steven’s hand softened, and she managed to give Mr. Universe a half-smile. She envied his tenacity. He never wavered, steadfast in his belief of Steven’s recovery.

“I should have done more,” she quietly admitted, and suddenly she couldn’t stand to meet his eyes. She should have been paying more attention to Steven, especially after his proposal on the beach. If she had stayed then, would Steven be in a coma now?

“It’s not your fault,” Mr. Universe said. “No one, not even Garnet, could have predicted something like this happening.”

He was right, of course, but it didn’t make her feel any better. There must have been  _ something  _ she could have done. Her eyes wandered over to Steven’s bandaged arm where she knew a scar lay hidden—a scar that Steven never told her about, and one that she had failed to notice. Some friend she was.

“Steven said it was nothing, but…” His haunted eyes flashed in her mind. Right before passing out, Steven had been afraid, cowering in a way she had never seen before. The strained smiles he gave her that day, the soft reassurances, had it all been a show on his part? “I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying. Like something was really wrong and he didn’t want me to know.”

Mr. Universe sighed, his gaze falling to the styrofoam cup filled with cheap coffee. "I noticed it too. Ever since he stopped teaching at Little Homeworld, he seemed stressed. I thought he was just trying to figure things out for himself, so I gave him space, but...." His eyes flicked over to the mess of wires and tubes connected to Steven's body. "I should have talked to him."

"It's not your fault," she echoed his words from earlier.

He nodded, and they lapsed into a tired silence. 

She would have to leave soon. She had school tomorrow and a mountain of assignments waiting for her back home, but she allowed herself a few more minutes with Steven. Gently, she rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand, willing him to come back from wherever he disappeared to, but like the days and weeks that had come before, he remained painfully unresponsive.

* * *

"Wait, what happened to the rebels?" Pearl asked.

They were in the hospital room, in the early hours of the morning, gathered around on either side of Steven's bed. One of Connie's hands held up a book, while the other was firmly intertwined with Steven's own.

"Well, they don't really show up all that much," Connie told her, shrugging. "The last book is more focused on Lisa and Archimicarus's wedding."

Pearl frowned. "But what about the corrupt shadow government ruining the kingdom, or the dismantling of the magical bureaucracy? Surely, Lisa realizes there are more important things to attend to than preparing for a wedding?"

Connie couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction. Pearl had become increasingly invested in the Spirit Morph Saga books over the past several months, and her disappointed reaction brought back memories of a simpler time, back when she and Steven would spend hours devouring books by the beach shore, taking turns reading to each other, sharing theories, and reenacting scenes.

"The wedding wasn't  _ that  _ bad," she admitted. "It was sweet, even though that's not the direction I thought the book should take. Plus, Steven loved it."

A pained smile made its way onto Pearl's face, and Connie instantly regretted her words. She shouldn't have brought him up, but it was hard not to when their fingers were threaded together.

Not wanting to sour the mood, Connie rushed to continue reading, hoping the senseless descriptions of cake would take her mind off Steven. It didn't work, but her voice at least helped fill the silence.

Connie was halfway into a sentence when it happened. It was a small, barely noticeable movement, but she had felt it.

Steven’s finger had twitched.

"Connie? Is everything alright?" Pearl's concerned voice was drowned out by the pounding of her heart, and all she could focus on was the feeling of Steven's hand in her own. She waited, body tense, for any other hint of movement. Was she so desperate for good news that she had begun imagining things?

No, there it was again! Steven's fingers slowly came to life, weakly grasping at her hand. She wanted to call his name, but her throat had swollen shut, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

Pearl fell silent. She must have noticed it by now, how could she not? Steven shifted in his bed, his face pinching in discomfort as he let out a pained groan.

The heart monitor, which had been beeping at a consistent pace for months, suddenly picked up speed. Beside her, Connie could hear Pearl calling for the other gems, or maybe a doctor. She didn't know, and she didn't dare check, not wanting to take her eyes off Steven.

Then, pale eyelids fluttered open for the first time in months. Confusion swirled in the pair of brown eyes staring straight at her.

Steven was awake.

* * *

The next few hours passed by in a blur. Connie was practically dragged out of the small room while a team of doctors and nurses busied themselves with running tests on Steven. With nothing else to do, she alternated between pacing the waiting room and nervously fidgeting in her seat, but time seemed to drag on no matter what she did.

"Is it true?" Mr. Universe panted, leaning against a wall for support. His clothes were rumpled and his hair disheveled. He must have rushed over to the hospital at the news.

"You were right," she said. "He really is a tough kid."

Mr. Universe choked back a laugh in between his tears. Pearl quickly caught him up to speed while the other gems, mainly Amethyst, pestered the hospital staff for news of Steven.

Connie excused herself when she saw that Amethyst had managed to corner one of the nurses caring for Steven. 

"I understand your impatience, ma'am, but we still have more test we need to run—"

"Steven's been here for  _ months _ ," Amethyst said, crossing her arms. "Couldn't you have run your test when he was asleep?"

"We need to assess whether the patient has suffered any permanent da—"

"If he's hurt, we'll just take him to Rose's fountain."

The nurse sighed. "I understand the patient's... unique situation, but the hospital has procedures that we have to go through before we can discharge him."

Amethyst scowled. "But—"

"Thank you for the update, ma'am." Connie stepped in between them, shooting Amethyst a look before turning and offering the nurse an apologetic smile. The last thing they needed was to be kicked out of the hospital because Amethyst was being rude to the staff. "If you could come get us as soon as Steven is able to have visitors, we would really appreciate it."

"Of course," the nurse said before sauntering off.

"Ugh, this place sucks," Amethyst said once the nurse was out of earshot. "I don't understand why they won't let us see Steven."

"They just want to make sure nothing's wrong with him," Connie told her."Three months is a long time to be in a coma."

"I know," Amethyst sighed, her shoulders drooping. "It's just..." She shook her head, letting out a noise of frustration. "Its stupid. I visit him everyday, but..."

"Hey," Connie said gently, her voice sympathetic. "I miss him too."

She nodded, and they stood in silence for a moment, before Amethyst broke it with a loud sigh. "Man, hopefully they let us see Steven before lunch time. I still need to warn him about the food here."

A smile crept onto Connie's face. "That bad, huh?"

Amethyst wrinkled her nose. "Bad doesn't even begin to describe it. I swear, I've had motor oil that tasted better."

Connie laughed, because knowing Amethyst, she probably meant it.

* * *

By the time the nurse came to update them, it was well past dinner time. 

Even before the nurse opened her mouth, Connie knew something was wrong. She approached the group slowly, almost hesitantly, while shooting nervous glances at Amethyst and the other gems. Her lips were set in a grim line, and she was holding her clipboard just a bit too tightly.

"Greg Universe," the nurse read the name off her clipboard, pointedly refusing to meet anyone's gaze. 

Mr. Universe shot out of his chair and practically sprinted over to the nurse. She spoke in soft tones, low enough that Connie couldn't make out her words. Not that it mattered, because with how Mr. Universe's body stiffened, it was obvious that something had happened to Steven.

Looking much older than when he had left, Mr. Universe returned to the group with a grimace.

Pearl immediately pounced on him, bombarding him with questions. "What happened? What did she say? Is Steven alright? When can we see him?"

"Well..." Mr. Universe rubbed the back of his neck. "The good news is that Steven is allowed to have visitors, but...”

Connie's stomach twisted itself into knots. Up until that point, Mr. Universe had been very forthcoming with information, making it a point to keep her in the loop. His hesitance spoke volumes.

“But what?” Amethyst pressed. “Steven’s fine… right?”

“We should try not to overwhelm him,” he eventually said. “He’s having... problems with his memory."

The way he said it, and his refusal to elaborate, made it clear that Steven had lost more than a handful of hours, or even days to amnesia. No, his pained expression was one she hadn't seen since Steven's first night at the hospital all those months ago. 

"The nurse recommended that we go in pairs," he said, breaking the silence that had engulfed the group. His words snapped the gems out of their stupor, and the three of them stared at each other, trying to decide who would get to see Steven first.

A part of Connie, the selfish part, didn't care that the gems were Steven's family. She wanted to see him too,  _ needed _ to make sure he was okay, but fear kept her silent and rooted to her spot. Because, if what Mr. Universe said was true, if Steven's memory problems really went beyond a couple of days, would he even recognize her? The thought made her heart clench painfully, but it was an all too real possibility.

"Pearl will go first," Garnet said, much to the displeasure of Amethyst. Her choice made sense, of course, Pearl had always been the most motherly of the three gems. For a short while, Connie had even believed that she was Steven's biological mother. Even after the misunderstanding had been cleared up, Connie could clearly see the adoration in Pearl's eyes when she looked at Steven, a warmth that reminded Connie of her own mother.

Pearl looked surprised, then grateful as she went to go stand by Mr. Universe. As Steven's Dad it was only right that he got to go first. Garnet and Amethyst would probably be next, and Connie would no doubt be last.

"We'll try not to take long," Mr. Universe said, briefly meeting her gaze. 

She nodded, and Mr. Universe began walking towards the direction of Steven's hospital room, Pearl following closely behind.

No words were exchanged between Connie and the remaining gems as they returned to their seats. An aura of restless energy loomed over them like a rain cloud. She had spent months waiting for a chance to speak to Steven again, a few hours should have been nothing, but she felt every second. They dragged on, each one seemingly longer than the last. It was torture.

Mr. Universe and Pearl never came back. Instead a nurse, the same one Amethyst had cornered earlier that day, came to retrieve Garnet and Amethyst. Connie wasn't allowed to follow, so she was forced to sit alone in the waiting room, her thoughts running wild as she waited for any bit of news.

Why hadn't Mr. Universe and Pearl come back? Why were Garnet and Amethyst allowed in Steven's room but not her? Was it because they were family and she wasn't, or was there something more? She bit her lip, a horrible thought dawning on her. Was it possible that Steven didn't want to see her?

She wasn't given the chance to dwell on her thoughts, as the nurse came back, offering Connie the chance to see Steven.

* * *

The hospital room, while not small, certainly felt crowded with the addition of Connie. Mr. Universe and the three Crystal Gems were huddled around the bed. Some, like Pearl and Mr. Universe were fortunate enough to have a seat on either side of the bed, while others—Amethyst, Garnet, and now Connie—were forced to stay standing.

There was a hesitance to Connie's movements as she approached the center of the group. The tear stains visible on everyone's faces filled her with dread, and their silence at her arrival did nothing to ease her nerves. Garnet and Amethyst stepped aside, giving her the space she needed to properly see him.

Awake and fully conscious for the first time in months, Steven turned to look at her, his eyes flashing with something she hoped was recognition.

"Steven..." Connie had a whole speech planned out for when Steven finally woke, a summary of all the important events he missed during his time asleep, but she found that she couldn't recall any of it. A question dangled at the tip of her tongue, one that she desperately needed the answer to,  _ do you remember me? _

She didn't know how long she stood there with Steven eyeing her curiously while she desperately tried to communicate with him, but Garnet eventually broke the silence.

"Steven," Garnet said, gesturing to her. "This is Connie, a friend."

Steven's brows furrowed, and he seemed to be absorbing the information as he examined her face. His eyes seemed to linger at a spot above her eye, right on her eyebrow. He must have caught himself staring, because a moment later his gaze fell to his lap.

"I'm sorry, Connie." Steven said after a pause, avoiding her gaze. "But... I don't remember who you are."

Connie's heart shattered into a million pieces. She nodded numbly at him, trying to stop the tears from falling. She'd been expecting it, but it still hurt. Steven didn't remember her, might never remember her.

Garnet placed a hand on her shoulder, a small comfort. "He'll remember," she said, but it sounded more like a hope than a prediction.

"I'm sorry," Steven repeated, a frown on his face. "I promise I'll do my best to remember."

There was nothing in his eyes as he spoke. The warmth and kindness she was so used to seeing in him was gone as he looked at her with utter indifference. She meant nothing to him, and it hurt.

"I... I should go," she said, struggling to keep her voice from wavering. Pearl reached out to stop her or maybe offer her some words of comfort, but Garnet shot her a look and she fell silent.

"We'll keep you updated," Garnet said.

Connie couldn't even nod as she stumbled out of the room. She shambled in the hospital hallways, getting lost a few times before she finally made it out into the parking lot. She shakily pulled out her phone and was moments away from dialing her parents, but shut her phone off and shoved it into her pocket at the last second. She wasn't ready to see the pity in their eyes. She wanted to be alone.

Taking in a deep breath to calm her nerves, Connie then let out a high-pitched whistle. A pink vortex sliced open the space in front of her, and Lion skidded out, immediately offering her comfort by nuzzling their heads together. 

"Hey, buddy..." Connie smiled weakly at him. He always was good at telling when something was wrong. She ran her hands through his mane a few times before hopping onto his back. "Take me home."

* * *

Pearl lifted the wheelchair up the stairs, taking care not to jostle Steven. Just a couple more steps and they would finally be home, far away from the dreary hospital where they had spent the last few months. And aside from a few check ups, they would hopefully never return.

"Hurry up, P!" Amethyst stood in front of the door to the beach house, Garnet and Greg standing on either side of her. She tapped her foot against the floor, and Pearl couldn't help but smile at her impatience. After months of brooding around the house, it was nice seeing her excited for a change.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Greg asked, guilt flashing briefly in his eyes.

"I'm fine," she insisted, speeding up as if to prove her point. As a gem she was much stronger than any human, and with Steven being as thin as he was, she barely registered his weight. It was like carrying a wheelchair shaped pillow, a bit awkward but not at all difficult.

"We should work on installing a ramp," she said once she reached the top of the stairs. Gently, she set Steven onto the ground. "Not that I mind carrying you around," she added, affectionately patting Steven's head of curly hair. It had grown out during his stay in the hospital and now reached just past his shoulders.

Steven beamed up at her. "I'm just glad to be home." His eyes grew in wonder as he took in all the renovations to the beach house. "Has the beach house always looked like this?"

"Bismuth made some upgrades while she was building Little Homeworld."

He nodded, but didn't seem any less confused. He must not have remembered Bismuth, then. Before Pearl could jog his memory, Amethyst flung open the door and revealed an assortment of colorful streamers and balloons. Hanging over the temple door was a banner with the words 'WELCOME HOME!' printed in neat lettering. Amethyst stepped in front of Pearl and wheeled Steven into the house, prompting a rain of confetti to fall on top of him.

"Surprise!" Amethyst said. "I had Peri and some of the others set this up so it'd be ready when you got back."

“We were going to throw a welcome back party," Pearl explained at Steven's confused look. "But with you still… recovering we decided to cancel."

Having a house full of, in Steven's eyes, strangers would only stress him out. He already expressed his guilt over not remembering Connie, realizing he'd forgotten even more people would only upset him. Pearl had wanted to take the decorations down, but Amethyst had insisted they stay up, certain they would lift Steven's mood.

“But look on the bright side," Amethyst said, gesturing to the plates on the dinner table full of sweets and comfort foods, all of them Steven’s favorites. "We still have all this tasty food we have to eat.”

“This is… " Steven blinked, examining a piece of confetti in between his fingers. A grin slowly spread across his face. "... perfect." In a smaller, more uncertain voice he added, "I love you guys so much. You know that, right?”

Pearl ran a hand through his hair, picking out bits of confetti. “We love you too, Steven.”

“Yeah, you’re awesome, bro.”

“I’m proud of you, Steven.”

"We're glad to have you back, Schtuball."

Steven smiled. “It’s good to be back.”


	3. A Double-Edged Blade Cuts Your Heart In Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to post one more chapter before the new year  
> anyways, hope this chapter clears up some of the mystery

There was a crick in Steven’s neck, like someone had tried ripping his head right off his shoulders. His back was no better, stiff as a board and painfully sore.

He groaned and blinked away the remaining sleep from his eyes. While too dark to make anything out, the warm mass atop his chest informed him he wasn’t alone. Had Lion fallen asleep on him again?

The weight shifted, pressing itself closer to his chest. Nope, definitely too small to be Lion. So then, what was—

“Please, you promised…”

Steven froze, muscles tightening at the very  _ human _ voice.

“Wake up…”

It was then that the memories came flooding back. The fight with his reflection, the pitch black room, the acrid smell of blood, Connie slumped on the floor—

He bolted upright, eyes wide. “Connie!” His voice was raspy and painful, but he couldn't care less. He needed to find Connie as fast as possible. She had been bleeding, her blood had been smeared all over the wall and she was only growing weaker by the second.

Warm hands gripped his shirt and reminded him of the person leaned against his chest. His eyes, having finally adjusted to the dark, were at last able to make out the wide eyes and slightly agape mouth of Connie.

Steven immediately wrapped her in a hug. Connie stiffened, her breath hitching. Concerned, he pulled back and examined her. She had no visible cuts or bruises, and the smell of blood, which had been so pervasive before, was now barely noticeable. He cupped her face in his hand and gently rubbed his thumb against her cheek. "Are you hurt?"

Connie’s eyes narrowed. “Am I… you’re the one who’s been…

She slapped him,  _ hard _ . The resulting sound echoed throughout the room and left him in a daze.

Steven blinked, his cheek stinging. Before he could collect himself, Connie surprised him again, throwing her arms around him and resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“Idiot…” she muttered, squeezing him tight as if she feared he could disappear at any moment. She was shaking, her smaller frame trembling against his chest. “I thought you’d never wake up.”

Still confused but willing to do anything to comfort Connie, Steven slowly returned her embrace. 

“Hey.” his voice was gentle, if a bit hoarse, as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. “What’s wrong?”

"We're stuck here," Connie replied. "The explosion wrecked the lab, and Yellow is... Well, you know how she gets."

"Stuck?" He scanned the darkness in search of an exit, frowning when he failed to find one. "Where are we?"

Connie looked up at him as if he sprouted another head. "You blew up Yellow's lab. Where do you  _ think _ we are?"

"Yellow? As in... Yellow Diamond?" His stomach sank as the dark room resurfaced old memories. He had been here before. It was back when the Diamonds still saw him as Pink Diamond, and back when they didn't hesitate in punishing him—they were in the tower. He tightened his hold on her. "Connie what's going on? Why are we on Homeworld? Why are we in the tower?"

Connie stiffened, and for a moment it felt like she had stopped breathing all together. "No, no, no..."

"Connie? What's wr—"

She shoved him as if burned. " _ Fuck _ , of course! It all makes sense now. That's why you..." She laughed, but it was a hollow sound devoid of any humor. "I guess  _ I'm  _ the one who's stuck here."

Nothing was making any sense. When had they gone to Homeworld? and more importantly when had Yellow Diamond put them in the tower? Sure, she had a history of being short tempered, but she had improved a lot since the start of Era 3. She would never even think about locking him away, and even if she did, why would Connie be punished alongside him?

Connie paced in front of him, her strides long and frantic, as she ran a hand through her hair. Whatever the events were that led to them being here had clearly shaken her up. She had been bleeding earlier, but he couldn't remember ever getting into a fight.

Pushing aside his questions, Steven moved to comfort Connie but paused mid step at the unusual weight on his feet. He was wearing boots. They were black and completely ordinary, but the alarm bells in his head went off regardless. 

Boots weren't something he wore, ever. Moreover, the rest of his outfit had also changed. A heavy jacket, black pants, and a shirt emblazoned with a crimson diamond—clothes he'd seen once before.

_ "You won't mind if I borrow your clothes, right?" _

Oh no. His eyes darted over to Connie, and he took a moment to really examine her. Her hair was short, even more-so than usual, styled in a militaristic pixie cut. She was also noticeably paler. Her tan skin had an unhealthy grayish tint to it, as if she’d spent years in the dark. But what had caught his attention was the blood-red diamond on her shirt, one that matched his own.

“That  _ bastard! _ ” Connie growled. “If I ever see him again…”

Steven took a step back. If he had a reflection, then, did Connie?

As if hearing his thoughts, Connie whipped around to glower at him. She stomped forward, yanking him by the collar of his jacket and bringing their faces uncomfortably close to each other. Her nostrils were flared, and her lips curled back into a snarl. It was all the proof he needed.

“You’re not Connie.”

She scrutinized his face for a moment longer before pushing him away.

“Not the Connie you know.” She sighed, her face sagging with exhaustion. She gave her head a shake, and her eyes filled with determination. “Okay, I can do this,” she muttered to herself. “No one has to know.” Then, looking at him she asked, “You  _ are _ still Pink Diamond in your world, right?”

“My world? You mean Earth?”

Connie grabbed him by the shoulders, the intensity of her gaze threatening to bore a hole through his skull. 

"You still aren't getting it, are you? The earth is… You’re in a parallel universe, pulled from your world into this one. And If you want to survive long enough to make it back, then you’re going to have to do whatever I tell you, understand?”

The grip on his shoulders tightened. What Connie was saying should have been impossible, and yet, he believed her. It was, at the very least, equally as plausible as his theory of reflections coming to life. Plus, parallel universe or not, it was still Connie he was talking to, and he trusted her.

“Okay,” he eventually said. He had a swarm of questions he wanted to ask, but held them back. Stuck as they were, it would be best to spend their time attempting an escape. After all, it’s not like the tower had an abundance of food or water. “What do you need me to do?”

Her eyes widened as if she hadn’t been expecting him to believe her so easily. Then she straightened up, expression turning serious. “We should work on etiquette first.” She gave him a light push, and he stumbled backwards, nearly falling over before he righted himself. “You’re slouching and your stance is all off.”

Was she serious? Of all the things to focus on, was his posture really the first to come to her mind? He cleared his throat. “Connie, shouldn’t we, um, bust out of here before doing anything else?”

Connie blinked and looked around the room as if just realizing they were in the tower. “Uh, no, we’ll just wait for someone to come get us out,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She rubbed her chin in thought. “Maybe we should work on your greetings first? I mean, half of the time, the Diamonds aren’t even directly looking at you.”

“My… greetings?” Steven sputtered. “Connie—you… If we don’t find a way out of here we’ll starve!”

“We just got our injections, we’ll be fine for a couple more cycles.”

“Injections? What are you—”

The ground shook as two massive doors slid open. Steven’s eyes burned in protest of the sudden onslaught of light invading the room.

“Fuck, already?” The sound of approaching footsteps grew louder. Connie pulled him close, her words coming out in a whispered rush. “Don’t do anything weird and don’t say anything unless you have to. Just ask to go to your room. I’ll explain more there.”

With that, she shoved him forward and took a couple of steps back. She plastered on a look of indifference, stretching and letting out an exaggerated yawn to complete the act.

Jasper stepped into the light, dressed in a large cape and decorated helmet. There was a pink diamond on the chest of her homeworld uniform just above the collarbone, shining under the light like a badge of honor. A gemstone sat in the place of her nose, completely untouched by the marks of corruption.

“What took you so long?” If Connie was nervous at all, she did a good job at hiding it. She didn’t even glance up at Jasper, looking far more interested in her nails. 

Jasper ignored Connie, her gaze entirely focused on him. She stopped a few steps in front of him, formed a perfect Diamond salute, and gave a deep bow. “My Diamond.”

Steven grimaced at the use of his title. Jasper was one of the few gems who didn’t see him as Pink Diamond. Of course, it was because he refused to seriously fight her, but still, the display of blind obedience left him unsettled.

“Um, hey, Jasper…” He gave an uncertain wave that Jasper couldn’t even see because she refused to stop bowing. Connie jabbed her elbow into his stomach. Oh right, he was supposed to ask to go to his room. “Can you, uh, take us to my room… please?”

Beside him Connie let out an exasperated sigh.

“As you wish, my Diamond.” 

* * *

They traversed the seemingly endless hallways in silence. Steven used the time to gather information on his new surroundings. There was no doubt that he was currently on Homeworld, but just like Jasper and Connie something about it seemed… off.

Ruby squads patrolled the hallways, and each set of doors was guarded by a pair of Quartz gems. The increased security gave him the sense of being a prisoner which, considering where he’d just come from, he supposed was true to an extent. Occasionally, he would catch Connie shooting a glare at some of the guards.

The farther away they got from the tower, the more common banners adorned with a crimson diamond became. They were around every corner, lining the walls, hanging from the ceiling like an inescapable presence.

They had just turned a corner into a hallway especially littered with such banners and flags when Steven finally cracked and asked, “What’s with the red Diamonds?”

Connie shrugged. “You thought the color pink was lame.” Her answer was simple and wholly unsatisfying, but she didn’t elaborate, seemingly content with it.

After several more long stretches of palace in which heavy footsteps were the only sound, Jasper finally spoke up as they came to a stop in front of a towering set of pink doors, “We’ve arrived, my Diamond.” She tapped a few keys on a panel, and the doors slid open.

Immediately, a wave of nostalgia hit as he took in the room. A pair of the most comfortable looking couches and a small coffee table made up the living room. Right next to that was a ladder that led up to a small sleeping nook, complete with a bed and chest of drawers. There was also a section that resembled a kitchen which, aside from a handful of appliances and chairs, was almost completely bare. His “room” was a near replica of the beach house he’d grown up in.

“Welcome home.” Jasper gave a deep bow and held the position, as if she were waiting for him to say something. Connie nudged him with her elbow and shot him a look. Maybe he _ was  _ supposed to say something?

“Um, thank you, Jasper?”

Jasper continued to bow.

Another nudge. Steven wracked his mind, going through all his memories of Homeworld and the Diamonds for the appropriate response. Should he bow back? No, he’d have remembered the Diamonds doing something like that. And clearly, she wasn’t looking for gratitude since he’d already thanked her with no response. So, then, what was she waiting for?

Connie shot him a glare and mouthed something he couldn’t quite decipher. Disaster? Dismantle? Destroy her? Oh, Dismiss her! Of course, that made the most sense.

Clapping his hands together, like he’d seen Holly Blue Agate do in the past, Steven said: “That will be all.”

Jasper rose from her position, turned on her heel, and made her way out of the room, the doors sliding shut behind her.

Connie immediately flung herself onto one of the couches, splaying her limbs out like a starfish. “Fuck, I really missed cushions.” She yawned and closed her eyes. “Wake me up in a couple cycles.”

“You’re sleeping?” Steven asked, aghast, because he didn’t go through all the trouble of lying to Jasper just for Connie to have a more comfortable place to nap. “I thought you were going to explain everything once I got us here.”

Connie muttered something into the cushions before rolling over to face away from him. After a few moments, the sounds of light snoring filled the room. Unbelievable, she really was just going to fall asleep without telling him anything.

“Hey, wake up.” Steven tried to shake her awake, but Connie only nestled herself deeper into the couch. He frowned. “Fine, if you won’t answer my questions then I’ll just have to go ask Jasper.”

Connie’s eyes snapped open. “Don’t! I’ll answer your stupid questions just… don’t let Jasper know you’re from another universe.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Why not?”

Connie sighed. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. “She’s a snitch. Don’t tell her anything you don’t want the Diamonds to know.”

“But don’t we need the Diamonds help to send me back?”

“The Diamonds don’t know anything about that and, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in the tower, it’s better if we keep it that way.”

As useful as the Diamonds powers could be, Connie was probably right. They often caused more problems than they helped solve, and if this universe’s Diamonds had no reservations about locking him away in the tower, then it’d be best to avoid them.

So instead of arguing that point, he asked: “Why am I here? Why pull me from my world into this one?”

Connie’s gaze fell to the floor. “I… don’t know. It was never my plan. Diamond is the one who’s obsessed with parallel universes. I don’t really know anything about it.”

“Diamond?”

“You, or well, the parallel version of you. He prefers to be called Diamond.”

He raised a brow at that. He couldn’t imagine any universe where he wanted to be acknowledged as a Diamond. In fact, just the opposite was true. He’d spent a good portion of his life distancing himself from the memory of Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz.

“What’s his deal anyway? I mean, what’s with all the banners and stuff? And why does he live on Homeworld? Does he really like the Diamonds or something?”

Connie’s eyes glossed over, and she looked a million miles away. “I guess you could say that. Diamond is… he really only cares about himself.” Shaking her head, she gave him a scrutinizing look. Her piercing stare searched him for any sign of dishonesty, and her body tensed as if she were readying herself for an argument. “He didn’t tell you anything, did he? Before bringing you here?”

“Not really, no.”

Her shoulders sagged, the tension in her face ebbing away. “Good. I wouldn’t listen to anything he has to say anyway. He’s a liar.” She stood, stretching her back before making her way over to the door. “Well, if you have any more questions you can ask them  _ after _ I wake up. It's been way too long since I slept on a bed, and my back is killing me.”

“You’re leaving?” His stomach churned at the thought of being left alone in such an unfamiliar world. What if Jasper came back? What if she started asking him questions he couldn’t answer?

“Relax, I’ll be back later.” Connie pressed something on the wall, and the doors slid open. She pointed to a marble door just past the living room. “Maybe take a shower while I’m gone, you reek of old blood.” Before the door closed completely, she popped her head in one last time, looking far more sincere and like the Connie he was familiar with. “And, uh, thanks for, um, healing me by the way.”

  
With that, the door slid shut with a soft  _ click _ , and Steven was left alone.


	4. Gaze Upon An Empty White Throne

Pearl shouldn’t have suggested it. Amethyst had a tendency to let things get out of hand, even if she had matured greatly over the years. Really, it was partly her own fault.

A stack of plates sat on the kitchen table growing taller by the minute, as Steven cleaned off platefuls of food at an alarming pace. He’d been hesitant when she suggested he eat something, eyeing the food like he had expected it to leap off the plate and attack him. After his first bite, however, his attitude had completely changed.

“Steven, be careful!” Pearl cried after witnessing Steven inhale a plateful of sandwiches. He took a deep swig of his juice, exhaling in satisfaction before moving on to the next plate. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Amethyst pounded her fists on the table, carelessly flinging abandoned utensils onto the floor as she cheered, “Nah, keep going Ste-man! Eat as much as you want.”

Pearl shot her a reprimanding look. “Amethyst, stop encouraging him.” She looked to the others for help, but Greg only flashed her a sheepish smile, and Garnet only offered a small shrug after adjusting her visor. Honestly, it felt like she was the only one taking Steven’s health seriously.“The doctor told us to  _ ease _ him into eating solid foods.”

“Relax, P,” Amethyst said. “If he starts to feel sick, then he’ll stop eating. He knows what his own body can handle, right, Steven?”

Steven paused his rampage to blink up at them. There were bits of frosting 

clinging to his cheeks and cake crumbs around his mouth. It would have been adorable if it weren’t so concerning.

“Should I stop?” A frown was already setting on Steven’s face at the question. He would stop if she asked him to, there was no doubt about that, but could she? The way Steven’s eyes darted to his half-eaten cake, like it was paining him not to eat it gave her pause.

Pearl sighed, a sound of defeat. Forcing him to stop would be like kicking a puppy. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Just… try not to eat too quickly, alright?”

Steven immediately brightened, nodding eagerly as he dove right back into eating the cake. His pace, while slower, continued to be too fast for her liking. Still, Pearl couldn’t stop a small smile from forming. It had been way too long since they were all together.

“Man, maybe we should’ve let the Diamonds help with the party,” Amethyst said, chuckling. “They would’ve had a bunch more food prepared.”

Steven paused mid bite, the color draining from his face.

Pearl rushed to his side, ready to pull medicine out from her gem at a moment's notice. She shouldn’t have let him eat so much.

“Are you alright?” she fussed over him. “Is it your stomach?”

Steven shook his head. “The Diamonds…”

Ah, of course. The few memories he did have of the Diamonds probably weren’t very pleasant. 

“The Diamonds aren’t a threat to us anymore,” Pearl reassured. “You don’t have to worry about them.”

Steven relaxed slightly at her words, but still seemed to be nervous about something. “The Diamonds,” he began. “Are they… still around?”

It was an odd question, and Pearl wasn’t sure how to answer. Had he meant to ask if the Diamonds still ruled over Homeworld? Because, to a certain extent, they still did. Albeit, they were more figure heads than anything, keeping some of the more old fashioned Homeworld gems in line while Blue Zircon did her best to lead. Or had Steven meant it in a more literal sense, as in, had the Diamonds been shattered?

Pearl did her best to answer both questions. “The Diamonds have adjusted to the way things are now, but they’re not in charge of Homeworld anymore. Blue Zircon won the latest election.”

Steven’s eyes went as wide as saucers, his pupils shrinking to the size of pinpricks. “Wha—election?” he sputtered, bits of food flying out of his mouth. “What election?”

“Well, after everything that happened, the Diamonds agreed to step down as the rulers of Homeworld. It was actually your idea to hold an election for a new leader.”

“You even got the Famethyst excited to vote,” Amethyst added. “We all went together and voted for Blue Zircon.”

“But… but The Diamond Authority!” Steven’s chair scraped against the floor, as he abruptly stood, legs swaying as they struggled to support his weight. “Surely, Yellow and Blue wouldn’t  _ willingly  _ give up their power? And what of White Diamond? She’d sooner shatter herself!”

Pearl shared a worried look with the others. They had discussed this possibility back at the hospital, of Steven being overwhelmed by the huge changes that happened during his memory gaps. Seeing it unfold, however, was an entirely different matter.

“It’s okay, Steven.” Greg was the only one who seemed prepared for the outburst. He slowly approached, taking one step at a time. “You’re home. Nothing, not even the Diamonds, can hurt you here.”

Steven’s eyes darted around the room as if in search for an escape. Just when it appeared he would make a break for it, Greg’s words finally seemed to reach him, and he relaxed.

“I…”

Steven blinked, and suddenly looked aware of the tension in the room. He smiled, presumably to ease their worries, but it came out as more of a grimace. At the very least, he allowed Greg to ease him back into his seat.

“Perhaps we should stop this talk of the past,” Pearl suggested. “What’s important is the present, and right now, we should be focused on helping Steven feel better.”

Steven frowned and looked like he was going to say something before Garnet cut him off.

“Pearl is right,” Garnet said. “Your memories will come on their own, don’t try to force them.”

Steven nodded shakily. “Right, my memories…”

Maybe it was the oppressive silence, or maybe Amethyst just got tired of seeing Steven so down, but she eventually suggested they play video games. 

“C’mon, Steven!” The cheer in her voice was slightly forced, but Steven didn’t seem to mind, or notice. “When was the last time we played Lonely Arms together? That was, like,  _ our _ game.”

“Lonely… Arms?” Steven repeated each word slowly, as if he were learning a new language. He was confused, but, at the very least, the game had taken his mind off the Diamonds.

“We could even have our own gaming tournament,” Greg piped up, enthusiastically. “We have enough people for it.”

“Oh, but what should the prize be?” Amethyst rubbed her chin. “Hmm… I’ve got it! Whoever wins will get a super valuable, super ancient, totally cool treasure from my room.”

Pearl had been in Amethyst room enough times to know that no such thing existed. At best, the prize would end up being some useless trinket that had caught her eye at some point or another. Still, Pearl went along with it. There was no harm in stretching the truth if it got Steven to feel better.

“That sounds perfect!” Pearl said. “What do you say Steven? Up for a bit of friendly competition?”

Steven hesitated, then gave a slow nod, a smile gracing his features.

* * *

The wooden door in front of Connie was cold and uninviting.

She could do this. It was just a friendly get together. Mr. Universe and the gems would be there the entire time. Plus, according to Mr. Universe, Steven  _ wanted _ her to be there.

Still, it took her the entirety of five minutes to gather up the courage to knock. It was a weak and pitiful sound, and if it weren’t for Pearl’s keen sense of hearing, it probably would have gone unnoticed.

“Connie, I’m glad you could make it.” Pearl gave her a quick hug before ushering her inside. She was practically glowing, a warm smile ever present on her face. A far cry from the gloomy and downtrodden Pearl she had gotten used to in the past few weeks. “Steven has been asking a lot of questions about you.”

“He has?”

Pearl walked ahead into the kitchen and began work on something that, judging from the sweet aroma wafting throughout the house, was probably pancakes. “He’s been asking about his ‘mysterious friend’ almost daily. I think he’s excited to properly meet you.”

Connie took a seat at the dinner table. Any other time she would have offered to help, but she was struggling to remain calm as it was, and she didn’t trust herself not to make a mess of breakfast.

“Oh,” she replied lamely, then, noticing the strange quiet in the house asked, “Where is everybody?”

As if on cue, the front door opened, and the three gems plus Mr. Universe filed into the house. They carried bags of groceries with them. 

Well, Garnet did. She carried the majority of the food while Mr. Universe and Amethyst each had a single bag slung over their shoulders. Garnet’s expression was uncharacteristic of the stoic warrior Connie was accustomed to. She was positively beaming.

She wasn’t the only one, Mr. Universe and Amethyst were all smiles. It was a jarring change.

“Sup, Connie!” Amethyst gave Connie a cheerful grin as she sauntered over and clapped her on the back in a friendly greeting. 

"I, um… Hey, Amethyst," Connie managed to stammer out, directing her gaze to the floor.

Garnet seemed to sense her discomfort.

“Don’t be nervous,” she said, placing a gentle hand on Connie’s shoulder. Her voice was soft, soothing. “We’re all very happy you could make it.” 

Connie knew she shouldn't be worried, but the anxious feeling that was growing in her mind refused to leave. Close to a week had passed without any contact from Steven. No calls, no texts, nothing but the occasional update Mr. Universe would give her.

"Mmm, are those blueberry pancakes?” Steven’s voice came from upstairs, and instantly had her body tensing. He bounded down the stairs, perking up at the sight of the gems and his dad. “It’s about time you guys got here!” Steven greeted them, a huge smile on his face. “ I was about to-" he stopped right there, and Connie could feel her face flush. He was staring. “Wait, you’re…Connie?”

Connie nodded.

“Hi, Steven.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Connie’s heart pounded in her ears. She'd waited months to speak to Steven, and now he was just…staring. It felt like he was cataloguing every detail of her face, studying her like she was a specimen under a microscope. 

“I- uh- sorry I forgot to…um- I-…” Steven shook his head and rubbed his eyes. When he looked up again, he was grinning. “Hi! I’m Steven, nice to, um…meet you?”

Connie took a deep breath and tried to smile back, but it felt forced, even to her. “Nice to meet you too, Steven.”

Steven looked so… normal. It was as if the past few months had never happened, and if it weren’t for the slight sunkenness of his cheeks, she might have believed it was all one bad dream. 

They stared at each other awkwardly neither one knowing what to say, until Pearl broke the silence with the clearing of her throat.

“Why don’t you two go for a walk while we finish making breakfast?”

Connie did her best not to grimace. “Oh, um, I wouldn’t want to force Steven to walk. I’m sure he’s still recovering.”

Really, she just didn’t want to be alone with him. Not because she disliked him or anything. The opposite, really. Some part of Connie feared Steven wouldn’t like her. It was stupid, because Steven was the nicest person she knew, but the fear persisted.

“Nonsense!” Pearl insisted. “I’m sure Steven would love a chance to get some fresh air.”

“Go have fun,” Amethyst added. “You guys probably have a lot of catching up to do.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Heat rushed to Connie’s face at the implication.

Steven either didn’t notice her flustered state, or he didn’t care to point it out. He beamed at her. “A walk sounds perfect!”

* * *

The walk was awkward.

Left alone with Steven, Connie had clammed up and forgotten how to speak. There were a million things she wanted to tell him, but, for some reason or another, she just couldn’t.

Thankfully, Steven didn’t seem to mind her silence. He had forgone his sandals and seemed content to walk along the shore barefoot. 

“I missed the beach,” he said after a few minutes. “The sand, the waves, the sun—all of it.”

“This beach is special to me,” Connie admitted, not looking Steven in the eyes for fear of losing her resolve. “It’s where I met you. Do you remember that?”

“I think so… There was a corrupted gem after… a bracelet?”

Connie stopped. “Exactly! You figured out what it was after and managed to defeat it. Are your memories coming back?”

Steven shrugged. “Bits and pieces.”

“This is great!” Connie smiled, and for the first time in a while, it was genuine. “Maybe if we go visit significant places more of your memories will come back.”

Her mind was already buzzing with plans. A trip to Little Homeworld might be just what Steven needed.

“I wouldn’t want to take up more of your time. I’m sure you’re busy, being the President and all.”

Connie couldn’t help it, she laughed. “The President? Who told you that?”

Steven shrugged and looked away. “I always figured that’s what you would do if things had gone differently.”

Connie frowned. 

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, it's just… Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, anything.”

Despite her answer, there was a hesitance to Steven’s words.

“…What are we to each other? Dad and the gems say we’re friends, but sometimes Amethyst…”

So he had heard Amethyst’s comment after all. Connie didn’t have an immediate answer for him.

Who was Steven Universe to her?

They were best friends, jam buds, who always had each other’s back. Not only that, but they were each other’s confidants. There were some things Steven only told Connie and vice versa.

“We  _ are _ friends,” she began. “But also…”

Steven had always been the affectionate type, but after Connie had kissed him on the cheek, it was like a switch had been flipped in his brain. Suddenly, he was hugging her longer than usual, greeting her with swift pecks on the cheek, intertwining their hands when they walked.

There was an unspoken understanding between them. They were more than  _ just _ friends, but they had never felt pressured to put a label on it. That only made explaining their relationship to an amnesiac Steven all the more complicated.

“We look out for each other. Not just on the battlefield, either. You’re always there to listen to me complain about school even when you’re busy. You were my first friend, and you helped me gain confidence in myself, and I… I...”

“Do you love me?” Steven asked casually as if he were discussing the weather. There was no hint of disgust or embarrassment in his features, only curiosity.

Connie’s cheeks burned. “Of course I do.”

Steven’s eyes widened, a faint blush spreading across his face. For the first time since their conversation began, he looked unsure of what to do.

Connie cleared her throat. Stupid. She shouldn’t have said anything. Now, Steven might feel obligated to return her affections.

“Anyway,” she rushed to change the topic. “I could show you around Little Homeworld later. If you want, that is. There are some gems who would love to see you.”

Steven blinked at her, and it took him a while to process her words before he spoke again, “Oh, um, yeah, that would be… nice.”

The rest of the walk was spent in silence. It was only when Amethyst called them back inside for breakfast did Steven speak up again.

“Those other gems you told me about, are they quartz soldiers? A Jasper maybe?”

“There are  _ some _ Jaspers living in Little Homeworld,” Connie began carefully, fully aware that the majority of his memories of a  _ particular _ Jasper were varying degrees of traumatic.

“Any Jaspers I’m close with?” Steven pressed. There was something in his eyes, an urgency that gave Connie pause. Did he remember Jasper? Did he think she was still on the loose?

“Well, there is one, but I wouldn’t exactly say you two were close. I wouldn’t even know how to reach her. She lives out in the middle of the woods and refuses to even step foot in Little Homeworld. I doubt we’ll run into her at all.”

Her words were meant to be comforting, but with how Steven frowned, it was clear they had the opposite effect. Unfortunately, they had reached the beach house by that point, and Steven immediately made a beeline for the dining table. Not wanting to sour the mood, Connie took a seat at the table and began to eat.

* * *

Jasper kicked the boulder into her growing pile of rocks. A few of them crumbled under the force, but it didn’t bother her. She had no use for weakness.

She sat outside her makeshift base and waited for the sun to rise. It would be easier to find more boulders in the morning, but that left her with the problem of finding something to occupy her time. 

There were some green earthlings she could remove that were beginning to encroach on her territory, but the idea only made her more restless. They wouldn’t put up much of a fight, none of the earthlings she encountered ever did.

Sighing, Jasper turned her gaze towards the night sky. If she focused hard enough she could even make out Homeworld in the distance, not that it mattered, everything there had changed as well.

“I never took you for a nature lover.”

Jasper's gaze snapped to the forest surrounding her, but there was nothing there.

“Behind you.”

Jasper whipped around, swinging her fist in the spot the voice had come from, but she only connected with air. Standing just out of arms reach was the cause of all her problems, the human who dared call himself Pink Diamond.

“What do you want?” she growled. “I already told you I’m not going to those stupid classes.”

Steven let out an exaggerated gasp. “I’m hurt, and here I thought you would be happy to see me.”

Jasper glared at him. “Leave.”

“Rude. Is that anyway to address your Diamond?” His eyes drifted over to her horns, then to her base, before settling back on her again. “Then again, it's obvious you’ve lost more than just your manners.”

Jasper stepped forward and jabbed a finger in his chest. “If you aren’t here to fight, then leave.”

He laughed in her face. “You don’t seriously think you’d stand a chance against me in a fight, do you?”

Jasper swung her fist at his smug face. He caught it.

“You’re slow.”

She yanked her fist back and went in for another attack, but again, she missed. Jasper would send punch after punch his way, but he somehow managed to avoid them all.

“Are you even trying?”

Jasper charged at him. “Stop running away and fight me!”

Steven smirked. “If you insist.”

Instead of side stepping her attack, he caught her fist and used it to throw her against the pile of boulders. They crumbled on top of her, burying her in a pile of rocks and dirt. Unphased, Jasper burst out of the rubble and summoned her helmet. She would make him pay.

Jasper feigned a punch, but threw her leg out in a wide kick at the last second. It landed, but didn’t do any damage. Steven remained standing, not the least bit unbalanced. He was bright pink. 

“Let me show you what a  _ real _ kick feels like.”

Steven pulled his leg back, and before Jasper could defend herself, his foot connected with her chest. The forest blurred around her as she crashed into tree after tree. When she finally stopped, Steven was already upon her.

He pulled her up by her uniform, and tossed her up into the air, immediately jumping up after her. His punches hit harder, and his kicks did more damage. There was no hesitance to his movement, because he wasn’t holding back anymore.

Even as Jasper was sent crashing onto the forest floor, she couldn’t help but laugh. Finally, a worthy opponent. She leapt off the ground and immediately went in for an attack. She managed to strike his face, but he barely even flinched.

“You’ve become weak.”

Jasper roared and rolled into Steven with a dash attack. He made no move to dodge, and when the smoke cleared he remained unscathed. Why couldn’t she hurt him?

No matter how many times Jasper hit Steven, he remained completely unharmed. It was infuriating, especially since he had stopped blocking her attacks, letting her punches land with full force. Still, not so much as a scratch on him.

Steven finally seemed to grow annoyed by Jasper’s unrelenting assault and stopped her in her tracks. Catching her next punch, Steven crushed her fist in his hand, twisting her arm behind her back until Jasper was pinned to the ground. She tried throwing him off, but he was stronger than her.

“Now this is just sad,” Steven said. “Lucky for you, I don’t have very many options, so I will graciously allow you to serve me.”

Jasper stopped struggling. 


	5. Waking Dreams Fade Away

_A hot, molten rage simmered in the very core of Steven’s being, constantly threatening to spill out in the form of pink outbursts that made the ground shake. The deep breaths he took did nothing to stop the almost painful thrumming of energy under his skin. He was glowing again._

_“Are you feeling well, Diamond?” Blue Pearl asked, her words as soft spoken as always. “There is still time before your next appointment, you can rest if you’d like.”_

_“I’m fine,” he gritted out and continued walking. He still had things to do before meeting with the Diamonds, and he couldn’t afford to waste any more time._

_Blue Pearl nodded obediently and followed after him._

_One long corridor and two right turns later, Steven finally arrived at Yellow Diamond’s section of the palace. Compared to his section, with barely enough Quartz soldiers to patrol the halls, Yellow Diamond’s side of the palace was suffocating. Two guards at every entrance, a parade of squads roaming the halls, warp pads going off every second._

_The sea of gems parted for him, every individual bowing low. All except for a boisterous group of Jaspers. They pushed and shoved each other, their playful teasing echoing throughout the hall._

_“Stop lying, 8VN. Remember what happened on Epsilon Nine?”_

_“That was an accident, and you know it!” Jasper 8VN fumed over the laughter of her companions. Spreading her arms wide in a gesture, she prepared to defend herself, but in doing so, accidentally slammed into Blue Pearl. Instead of apologizing, Jasper 8VN glared and shoved Blue Pearl. “Watch where you’re going!”_

_Blue Pearl stumbled, tripped over herself, and toppled onto the ground. She muttered a swift apology and attempted to stand, but Jasper 8VN had other plans. She kicked Blue Pearl to the ground once more, an obnoxious laugh bubbling out of her mouth._

_Steven’s blood boiled._

_Jasper 8VN’s companions had stopped laughing, their eyes going wide as they made the connection between himself and Blue Pearl. Most of them scattered while a brave few stayed and attempted to yank Jasper 8VN away from the scene._

_“Don’t tell me you guys are afraid of a Pearl? She can’t even—”_

_“Pearl.” Steven’s voice made the remaining group of gems freeze. He took his time walking over to them, helping Blue Pearl stand before doing anything else. “Are you alright?”_

_Blue Pearl bowed. “I am well, Diamond.”_

_Steven nodded and turned to glare at a shaking Jasper 8VN. She was newly emerged, any other gem would have recognized Blue Diamond’s Pearl immediately. Still, that didn’t excuse her disrespectful behavior._

_Pearls were in the lowest rung of Homeworld society, just barely above the pebbles who kept the palace running, and as such, they generally weren’t afforded much respect. Often shoved or tripped when their owners weren’t looking, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for a Jasper to harass a Pearl._

_Any other time, Steven would have let the Jasper off with a glare and a warning. He didn’t have the time to be disciplining gems who weren't even from his court. After all, he was a Diamond, not an Agate._

_But, with the ever present thrumming of his powers causing his head to pound, Steven found that he had very little restraint. He yanked the Jasper forward._

_“Apologize.” It wasn’t a request._

_Jasper 8VN threw herself onto her knees and pleaded for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, my Diamond! If I had known that—”_

_“Quiet,” he said, and the Jasper immediately fell silent. “I wasn’t the one you shoved.”_

_Jasper 8VN nodded shakily and turned her terrified eyes over to Blue Pearl. “I-I’m sorry.”_

_Blue Pearl graciously accepted the apology with a small nod of her head, but Steven wasn’t satisfied. He pulled the Jasper up by her neck, and in one swift motion, crushed her throat between his fist. She disappeared in a cloud of electric pink smoke._

_With no one moving to catch the gemstone, it hurtled toward the hard floor, shattering on impact._

_“That will be all,” Steven told the remaining Jaspers. They bowed low before scrambling in the opposite direction._

_Steven approached the shards, kneeling down to scoop them up in his hand. He inspected the fragments with a sort of morbid fascination, twirling one of the larger pieces between his fingers._

_His face which had been blank up until then, twisted into a crooked smile as he encased what was left of the Jasper in a small pink orb. Laughter bubbled from his mouth, managing to sound deranged even to his own ears. A familiar empty feeling settled in his chest, numbing the world around him._

_The Pink had receded from his skin._

_Steven hummed a random tune as he turned the bubble around in his hands. He already knew where he was going to put her._

* * *

Steven shot up off the couch, heart pounding in his ears. He swallowed the bile threatening to come up and clutched the cushions to steady his nerves. It was just a nightmare. He must have dozed off at some point.

Except, something about his dream felt a tad too real. Almost like a memory...

A glimmer of light pulled his attention upward. The high ceiling of Pink Diamond’s room was covered by hundreds of pink bubbles. Like in his nightmare, each one carried the dull fragments of a former gem.

Steven’s stomach heaved.

Muffled shouting pulled his attention away from the horrid sight and toward the large sealed doors, but it was the sound of a body being slammed against the wall that finally forced him into action. He scrambled to the panel, fumbling with the controls before the doors slid open.

“Let go of me!” Connie struggled against Jasper, her back pressed against the wall.

“You aren’t allowed to be here,” Jasper said.

“I don’t give a fuck!” Connie head butted Jasper in the nose, wiggling out of her hold when she flinched. 

Jasper lunged after the fleeing Connie, but Steven stepped in between them before she could attack. He summoned his shield, and Connie immediately moved to stand behind him.

“Stay back!” Steven warned.

Jasper stopped and immediately saluted him. It was a deep bow, showcasing an amount of respect that Steven didn’t think was possible for Jasper to have for anyone.

“My Diamond,” Jasper greeted. “I apologize for the disruption. Your pet was misbehaving.”

“I know you know my name, asshole,” Connie said. “And I wasn’t ’misbehaving’, you’re the one who wouldn’t get out of my way.”

Jasper glared at Connie. “You’re not allowed to—“

“I can go wherever the hell I want! Your precious Diamond said I could, isn’t that right Diamond?”

They both turned to him.

Steven slowly lowered his shield. “Um… why wouldn’t you be allowed to be here?”

Connie grinned. “Ha! See? Try kicking me out now you overdressed Cheeto puff.”

Jasper glowered at Connie, but made no move to apprehend her. Then, turning to him said, “If you would like to be alone, I will gladly take care of your pet, my Diamond.”

What Jasper’s idea of taking care of someone was, Steven didn’t want to know. 

“I’m good, Jasper,” he said. “I actually wanted to speak with Connie.”

Connie linked their arms together and dragged him into Pink Diamond’s room. “You heard your Diamond. We’ve got very important things to discuss, so make yourself useful and go guard a door or something.”

Jasper glared at Connie until the door shut in front of her.

Connie plopped herself down on one of the couches, and Steven followed, taking a seat on the free couch.

“You need to tell Jasper to chill out,” Connie said. “She’s even more uptight than usual.”

“Why was she attacking you anyway? I thought she was supposed to be our bodyguard or whatever.”

Connie scoffed. “Your bodyguard, maybe. She’s _never_ protected me. I honestly don’t know why you haven’t shattered her yet.”

Steven winced, his gaze flicking to the pink orbs that floated overhead. The nightmare was still fresh in his mind, and he didn’t like the picture it painted of his alternate self.

“Is that what your Steven does? Shatter gems he doesn’t like?”

“Nah,” Connie said, and Steven let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Sometimes Diamond gets bored and starts picking fights with the Quartz soldiers. They do _not_ last long.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Steven asked before he could stop himself. At Connie’s quirked eyebrow, he continued, “I mean, it’s just, he sounds…”

“Like a complete jackass?” Connie suggested. “I’d have figured you liked that about him.”

“What? No! What he did was awful!”

“You’re a lot more sensitive than Diamond. It’s kinda freaking me out. You should try glaring some more.”

Steven frowned.

“That’s better,” Connie said. “I can almost pretend he never left.”

“I am _nothing_ like him,” Steven said firmly. “I help people, I don’t… hurt them.”

Connie rolled her eyes. “Right. _You_ care about people.

Steven clenched his jaw and took in a deep breath. “Of course I care about people. You, Dad, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl—“

“Whatever,” Connie snapped. “I get it, you’re perfect.”

“I never said I was—“

“Anyway, I just came over here to make sure you didn’t blow your cover. Everyone’s going to figure out you’re not Diamond if you keep acting so… emotional.”

“I am not emoti—”

“And you talk way too much. Stick to glaring, maybe the occasional grunt. Other than that, just do your duties and you should be fine.” 

Connie rose and made her way over to the door.

Steven followed after her. “You're leaving already?”

“I was stuck in that hellhole with you for _way_ too long. I need some fresh air.”

“But you still haven’t explained anything to me! What am I even supposed to be doing here? What if Jasper asks me a question I can’t answer?”

Connie sighed. “You’re a _Diamond_. If you don’t want to answer a question, then just don’t.”

“What about the others? Maybe I can fool Jasper, but this world's version of the Crystal Gems will see right through me.”

Connie flinched. “That’s… not something you should worry about.”

Something about her tone didn’t sit well with Steven, but before he could question it, Connie opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

“Look,” she began. “I need to catch up with some gems, so I can’t stick around all day babysitting you.” Steven opened his mouth to interrupt, but Connie held up a hand to stop him. “ _But,_ if you promise not to act weird, then I’ll let you tag along. That way you’ll get a better layout of Homeworld and hopefully won’t get lost when you’re out playing Diamond.”

It wasn’t ideal. Leaving his room meant a higher chance that someone would notice that he was acting off, but staying in his room all day wasn’t any better. Jasper or one of the gems might check in on him, and Steven didn’t know enough about this world to convincingly play the role of his alternate self.

“Alright,” he said. “Lead the way.”

* * *

The first stop on their tour was surprisingly mundane.

“I didn’t know Homeworld had a library,” Steven said, scanning the vast rows of bookshelves around him. They stretched on for what seemed like miles. The books themselves had a metallic sheen to them and were yellow in color.

“This one belongs to Yellow Diamond.” Connie walked over to a corner of the library. It was nestled between two towering bookshelves, almost hidden. Considering the layer of dust covering most of the books, the small nook probably didn’t see many visitors.

Steven plucked a book off at random, jumping when the ‘book’ transformed into a floating monitor. Gem glyph he didn’t understand, scrolled on the screen. 

“What is all this?”

Connie snapped the book shut and shoved it back onto the shelf.

“Log reports, schematics, production records—nothing interesting.” She crouched low, sticking her hand behind the bookshelf. Her face scrunched up in concentration as she searched for something. “C’mon, it should still be here…” 

“What are you even looking for?”

Connie brightened, as she pulled a light blue flute out from behind the bookshelf. “A warp whistle,” she proudly announced, cleaning the instrument with the hem of her shirt. Rising, she turned towards the exit. “I got what I came for, lets go.”

“Wait,” he said. “Are there any books on Homeworld’s history here?”

In such a strange world, a comprehensive history book was exactly what he needed. At the very least, it might help him learn more about his alternate self.

Connie shrugged. “Probably, but I already wasted a month stuck in that tower…”

Steven stopped in his tracks. He passed out in the tower, so he must have spent a few hours there before Jasper came to let them out, but a whole month? That couldn’t have been possible.

“What?”

Connie continued toward the exit, oblivious to his distress.“…The last thing I want is to search a boring room for an even more boring book. If you’re curious about something just ask me.”

Steven jogged to catch up to Connie, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her from going any further. She shrugged his hand off and spun around to glare at him.

“Don’t touch—”

“How long?” With any luck, this was just some big misunderstanding. Connie had to have misspoke, because he couldn’t have been unconscious for a month. Maybe his gem half could keep him from starving, but Connie was fully human. She wouldn’t survive a month locked in the tower.

Connie frowned at him. “How long, what?”

“The tower,” he said. “How long were we in the tower?”

Connie went quiet, a pensive look on her face. “...I’m not sure. At least a month, maybe two. It’s hard to keep track of time in there.”

Steven gulped and took a step back. Two months? He couldn’t have been asleep for two months! But a single glance at Connie’s serious expression told him that she was telling the truth.

But if Steven had already been in this world for two months that meant his alternate self, the one who shattered gems in his free time, had been in _his_ world for two months…

“I need to go home, now,” Steven announced, rushing out of the library. Every second he wasted running errands with this Connie was another second Diamond, his unpredictable and _violent_ alternate self, spent running amok in his world.

The hallways blurred together, each one identical as the one before it, and Steven found that he didn’t even know where he was going. He wasn’t even sure of _how_ he was sent to this world in the first place, let alone how to get back. Still, he continued to run, desperate for a way home.

It was only at the sound of rushed footsteps and shouting did Steven stop to look behind him. This world’s Connie with her face red, either from exhaustion or anger, was hot on his trail.

Connie barreled into him, nearly toppling him over as she grabbed on to the front of his shirt.

“What the hell is your problem?” she shouted. “Are you _trying_ to blow your cover?”

“How do I go back? Your Steven, Diamond, pulled me into this world, so he must have something that could send me back.”

Connie ran a frustrated hand through her short head of hair. “It’s not that simple. I can’t just send you back.”

“Why not?”

“The portal Diamond used to connect our worlds is… gone. It was caught in the explosion that blew up the lab.”

The words were like a kick to the stomach, leaving him breathless and disoriented. He glowed pink.

“No… you’re lying!” 

The ground shook.

Connie took a step back. Her eyes were wide, body tense. She was afraid.

Steven focused on his breathing, waiting for the glowing to fade before speaking.

“Sorry,” he muttered and avoided her gaze. “I just _really_ want to go home.”

“…I’ll get the portal fixed, but without the lab or Peridot, it might take a while.”

Steven’s gaze snapped up. “Peridot’s here?” 

This was perfect. If anyone could figure out how to traverse alternate worlds, it would be Peridot. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to see a familiar face.

“I haven’t seen her since the explosion, and I’m starting to think Yellow might have gotten to her…”

Oh no. Gotten to her? That couldn’t have been anything good. An image of green shards floating in a yellow bubble flashed in his mind.

“We need to find her.”

“Just borrow another Peridot from Yellow Diamond. It’ll be faster.”

“How can you say that? We can’t just abandon Peridot. What if she’s in trouble?”

Connie was back to looking annoyed at him. She sighed. “Whatever, I’ll help look for her—not like I can disagree with my Diamond.”

Steven grimaced. Had his alternate self forced Connie to obey him?

“I’m not—Just call me Steven.”

“Well, _Steven_ , our best bet at finding Peridot is by talking to her manager. _If_ she is still alive, then Sagenite should be able to tell us where she’s stationed.”

* * *

Sagenite, as it turned out, was a yellow Agate in charge of a large amount of Peridot’s as well as other gems. Steven and Connie found her in a half-destroyed laboratory. The hallway leading up to the room was scorched black and piles of rubble were gathered around the floor.

A pair of Bismuths kept their heads down as Sagenite threw insults their way. They were roughly the same size, but the Bismuths seemed to shrink under the Agate’s intense glare. They noticed Steven and Connie enter and wilted even more, their faces turning grim.

“What are you two gawking at? Not only are you behind on—“

“My Diamond.” The two Bismuths bowed as Steven and Connie approached.

Sagenite stiffened and whipped around, immediately forming the Diamond salute. “My opulence. I apologize for the mess.” She slapped the back of the Bismuth’s heads, and they straightened up their posture. “ _Some_ of us are behind on the scheduled repairs.”

It unnerved Steven just how much the Bismuths withered under his gaze. He had barely glanced at them, but they trembled as if he’d struck them. He smiled in an attempt to ease their fears, but they only shook harder.

“Is Peridot still alive or what?” Cut in Connie’s blunt voice. She kicked a chunk of debris, sending it flying across the room while she scanned the lab.

Sagenite winced at the sound of something shattering, but quickly recovered and continued to smile at him as if Connie hadn’t spoken. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, my Diamond?”

“We’re looking for a Peridot, Facet… um…”

What _was_ Peridot’s facet number? He had known it once, but at some point during Peridot’s integration into the Crystal Gems, he had forgotten. It didn’t help that Amethyst was so fond of nicknames.

Connie saved him from having to remember. “Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG.”

Sagenite blinked at him, patiently awaiting his response. It was as if Connie wasn’t even there.

“What, no snide comment?” Connie smirked. “I’d have figured you had a lot to say after what happened last time.”

Steven looked to Sagenite, then to Connie, and back to Sagenite. 

“Why is she ignoring you?”

“Apologies, my radiance. I can never understand your pet’s incessant barking. What is it saying?”

Connie rolled her eyes. “Just ask her about Peridot so we can leave already.”

“Do you know a Peridot, Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG?”

“Oh, _that_ Peridot.” Sagenite frowned. “I’m afraid she’s no longer here.”

Steven’s heart sank.

“Huh, Yellow Diamond actually shattered her?” Connie blinked then shrugged. “About time.”

“Worry not, my Diamond. I will gladly lend you another Peridot.”

“I don’t want another—what happened to Peridot?”

“Due to her recent failures, Peridot 5XG has been relocated. Holly Blue Agate is her new manager—“

“Wait, Holly Blue? Is Peridot at the human zoo?” It was a far better alternative to being shattered, but the zoo would be difficult to get to. Did it even have any warp pads? He didn’t remember seeing any the first time he was there.

“Yes, my opulence,” Sagenite said. “She was transferred a few cycles after the laboratory incident.”

“Ugh, just perfect,” Connie muttered. She began to make her way out, looking over her shoulder to see if Steven was following. “C’mon, let’s get this over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating on whether or not I should go back and add one last chapter to my other fic Nothing Like You, go back and work on Regression, or continue writing this fic. any thoughts?


	6. A Legacy of Lies

Something was different about Steven.

Connie hadn’t noticed it at first, too relieved at having him awake and active. But it was now a month after Steven had been discharged from the hospital, and his odd behavior was impossible to ignore.

The toaster dinged, and Steven jumped.

“Toast is done,” she said.

It was routine for Connie to come over and have breakfast with Steven. He would ask her questions about the past and, in turn, she would do her best to jog his memories.

But no matter how often the toaster went off, Steven always reacted. He would stiffen, leap out of his chair—once he had even turned pink. It wasn’t just the toaster, either. Any sudden noise seemed to put him on edge.

“I’ll get the jam.” Steven opened the fridge and winced when the handle bent under his strength. He flashed her a sheepish smile. “My apologies.”

That was something else that had changed—Steven’s strength. Even with his signature pink jacket donned, the definition of his muscles was clearly visible. He had gained back all the weight he had lost at the hospital and then some.

Hiding her smile, Connie turned to plate the toast. Gentle as Steven was, it was almost comical seeing him struggle not to tear off the fridge door.

“Looks like someone’s been working out.”

Steven took a seat and piled on a generous serving of bacon and eggs onto his plate. 

“I suppose I have been exercising in the mornings.” With his mouth full of food and words muffled, he added, “Plus, it gives me an excuse to eat more.”

Connie laughed. “Pearl  _ has _ been asking me for some traditional Indian recipes. I think cooking is her latest passion.”

“She’s great at it.” His eyes darted over to an empty spot just above the main door to the beach house where a portrait used to hang. “Pearl is… different from what I remember. Happier.”

Considering how pervasive Rose Quartz’s memory had been in the past—with her portrait constantly watching over the living room, Lion padding around the house, and the epic tales that Pearl would tell about her—it must have been strange seeing her absent.

Did Steven miss her? Did he find it strange that the gems seldom talked about her? Or was he, in a way,  _ glad _ to no longer be constantly compared to her.

“Pearl has grown a lot, all the gems have. They’ve each found their own purpose.”

“Good.” Steven smiled at her, and Connie couldn’t help but smile back.

It was moments like these when they were alone, content to simply bask in each other’s company, that Connie could almost pretend the last few months hadn’t happened.

Then, the warp pad flashed and broke the silence.

“Wake up, dorks!” Amethyst shouted. Pearl and Garnet stood on the warp pad flanking her.

Steven shot up from his chair, wide eyed and pink. He extended an arm outward, and a wall sprung up between the gems and the kitchen area.

The gems were immediately on alert. Pearl pressed her palm against the pink wall, but it didn’t budge. 

“What the heck man?” Amethyst frowned at Steven as she unsuccessfully tried to shatter the wall with a few strong punches.

Steven didn’t seem to hear her. There was a fogginess to his gaze that reminded Connie of that day in the hospital. Slowly, she placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Steven?” 

He blinked at the same time the wall dropped, the pink receding from his skin.

Garnet lifted Steven’s chin up and inspected his still confused eyes.

“You were glowing again.”

Steven pulled away from her and shook his head, eyes going back into focus.

“I’m fine,” he snapped. Then, realizing the harshness of his words, softened his tone. “I’m okay. Really. You guys just surprised me is all.”

Although his reaction was extreme, Steven’s surprise wasn’t unwarranted. Weekend or not, the gems didn’t get home until early in the afternoon.

“Don’t you all have classes to teach right now?” Connie asked.

“We did,” Amethyst said. “But Pearl  _ finally _ agreed to give Steven a tour of Little Homeworld.”

Pearl frowned. “Maybe we should postpone the tour until Steven is feeling better.” She checked Steven’s temperature and began to fuss over him. He seemed to bask in the attention and didn’t protest.

“Pearl, I’m fine.” Steven pulled her into a hug. “Can I  _ please  _ go on the tour?”

Pearl pulled back and gently caressed his face, as if looking for any sign that Steven was lying to her.

“I don’t know…”

Steven frowned, and Pearl cracked.

“Oh, alright—“ Steven cheered. Pearl held up a finger. “— _ But, _ you have to promise to let me know immediately if you’re not feeling well.”

“I promise,” Steven quickly agreed.

* * *

The scorched rubble of wood and brick stood out against the otherwise neat and welcoming layout of Little Homeworld. A smoky, burning smell caused Connie to wrinkle her nose.

“What happened here?” she asked. The smoldering building was on the way to their first stop and, as such, impossible to avoid. Pearl tried her best regardless.

“A small accident, nothing we couldn’t handle.” Pearl rushed her and Steven passed the remains of the building. She let out a full insincere laugh. “To be honest, I nearly forgot about it.”

Garnet dragged Steven forward, bringing him closer to a patch of daisies. “Steven, look,” she said with forced enthusiasm. “A flower.”

Amethyst joined in, throwing her arm around Steven’s neck, and did a much better job at feigning interest in the daisies. She tilted his head to the patch of flowers, blocking his view of the wrecked building.

“They sure are beautiful this time of year, huh, Steve-O?”

Pearl pulled her aside while Steven was distracted.

“Don’t tell Steven, but there have been… attacks on Little Homeworld.” Pearl must have seen the worried look on her face because she quickly added, “It’s nothing serious, but we didn’t want to worry Steven. He might feel obligated to help.”

That certainly sounded like Steven, and Connie understood the gem's choice to hide that particular event from him. Still, the truth did little to ease her worry over Steven’s safety. He might’ve been stronger, but he had virtually no training in using his powers. He would be left defenseless in a surprise attack. 

“Is Bluebird back?” She looked to the skies, but, aside from a few clouds, saw nothing.

“I wish it was her, but no.” Pearl snuck a glance at Steven before leaning in and whispering. “It’s Jasper.”

Suddenly, Connie wished she had brought her sword.

“Do you need help in fending her off?”

Pearl shook her head. “That’s the strangest part, Jasper hasn’t hurt anyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“The few times we’ve been able to catch up to her, she completely ignored us. She pulls out wiring from the buildings, steals some random objects, and then just… leaves.”

Before Connie could ask her any more questions, Amethyst was calling them over.

“Hurry up, slow pokes!”

Bismuth was working on a chestplate when they arrived in her workshop. Her eyes lit up at the sight of Steven, and Connie could tell she was holding herself back from hugging him. They had agreed to not overwhelm Steven after all.

“Lookin’ good, Steven.” Bismuth offered her hand for him to shake. “I’m Bismuth, a friend.”

Steven looked at her outstretched hand, but made no move to grab it. He eyed some of the decorative shields and swords lining the walls.

“You make weapons?”

Bismuth lowered her hand after a while, but didn’t seem offended in the slightest. Her chest puffed up as she talked about her work.

“Used to, but there ain’t much use for weapons nowadays. I mainly work on armor sets and construction.”

“Make me an armor set.” It was more of an order than a request, and Connie was taken aback at how cold Steven sounded. He didn’t seem interested in Bismuth in the slightest, and his earlier eagerness was nowhere to be seen. He must have felt all the stares thrown his way because he hesitantly added a small, “...Please.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Bismuth blinked, but quickly returned to smiling. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“Hmm… Something sturdy and durable.”

“Wait, Bismuth,” Pearl interrupted. “You’re not actually going to make Steven an armor set, are you?”

Bismuth shrugged. “Why not?”

A small argument broke out in which Pearl attempted to convince everyone that an armor set was too dangerous for Steven. She wasn’t doing a very good job.

“What if it’s too heavy for him?”

Amethyst scoffed. “With those muscles?” 

“I’ll make it out of my lightest material,” Bismuth said.

Garnet adjusted her visor. “I see no future in which Steven hurts himself.”

“But what if…”

Connie tuned them out and turned her attention to Steven. He was inspecting an axe that hung on the wall. It was larger than him with gold accents on its handle.

“Fancy,” he muttered to himself.

In the end, it was decided that Bismuth could make Steven armor as long as she didn’t make him any weapons. His measurements were taken, Bismuth attempted to engage him in conversation, and—when it became obvious Steven wasn’t warming up to Bismuth—the group headed out to their next stop.

Steven was a lot warmer toward Lapis. From the moment he walked into her art studio, Connie could tell that he was interested in her. Recognition flashed in his eyes, reminding her of their walk on the beach. Steven remembered her.

“Lapis Lazuli,” he said before anyone could introduce them.

Lapis broke out into a smile. 

“Steven! You’re awake!” She scooped him up in a hug. Steven looked uncomfortable in her hold, but he didn’t pull away. Lapis set him down and gave him a hard look. “Don’t ever do that again. We were seriously worried about you.”

“You’re on Earth?”

Lapis blinked. “Where else would I be?”

“Homeworld. I freed you from the mirror and you... left.”

Lapis winced and looked away. “That was a long time ago. A lot of things have changed since then.” Her eyes went foggy for a moment, before she cleared them with a shake of her head. She smiled and looped her arms through Steven’s, dragging him over to an unfinished sculpture that she gestured toward proudly. “I make morps now.”

Connie recognized it as a sculpture of Peridot. It had a triangular shape and half of Peridot’s butterfly shaped visor was completed.

“Morps,” Steven repeated to himself, thoroughly captivated by the piece of art. He gently traced the faint outline of the gemstone that rested on the sculpture's forehead. “What type of gem is this?”

“Peridot,” was Lapis’ immediate answer. She seemed to deflate a bit at the name. “She was so excited to see you today, but… she couldn’t make it.”

Steven flashed her a reassuring smile. “I’m sure whatever she had to take care of was important. I can always come back later.”

Lapis’ smile was strained. “Right…” she cleared her throat and directed Steven to another section of her art studio. “Why don’t I show you some of my completed morps? You’re going to love them.”

It was a little later when Amethyst pulled her aside.

“Peridot is missing.”

_ “What?” _

“Nobody’s seen her around Little Homeworld, she hasn’t talked to Lapis or Bismuth in days—heck, she hasn’t even been attending any of her own classes! She loves telling her students how much smarter she is than them.”

An image of Jasper holding Peridot’s gemstone popped into her mind. Pearl had told her that Jasper hadn’t hurt anyone, but her disappearance lined up too perfectly with the recent raids on Little Homeworld to just be a coincidence.

“You don’t think Jasper…”

Amethyst grimaced. “I don’t know, but we’re organizing a search party to go out and look for her. Just…”

Connie followed Amethyst’s line of sight over to Steven. He looked up from one of Lapis’ sculptures and caught her gaze. He smiled at her, and she did her best to smile back. He seemed so carefree...

“Don’t tell Steven, got it,” she said.

They continued to walk around Little Homeworld for a while, taking in the sights and catching up with a few gems. Quartzes, Nephrites, Rubies—there seemed to be no shortage of gems that were excited to see Steven. He was polite to all those that approached him, but just like with Bismuth, seemed cold and uninterested.

Steven slowed and then came to a complete stop as they passed a chrome building. The lettering on its front was in gem glyph—ilegible, but Steven seemed transfixed by the words.

“Pearl.” Steven tugged at Pearl’s wrist. She immediately stopped and placed a worried hand on his forehead.

“Are you feeling well?”

Steven shook his head. “Tired.”

“We have been out for a while,” Pearl said. “You should go home and rest. Garnet, Amethyst, and I should be back by dinner. We still have some… chores to take care of here.”

She must have been talking about the search party for Peridot, and Connie was tempted to help, but it was getting late.

“I should probably be headed home too.” Connie gave Steven a quick hug goodbye “I don’t want my mom to worry.”

With everything that had happened, Connie had forgotten to tell her mom that she would be staying with Steven past breakfast. It was a small miracle that her phone wasn’t flooded with worried texts and missed calls.

After bidding everyone goodbye, and promising to visit soon, Connie began to make her way home. She went to pull out her phone to call her mom, but couldn’t find it. Connie patted her pockets and frowned. She must have left it at Steven’s house.

* * *

There was shouting coming from upstairs. One of the voices Connie recognized as belonging to Steven, but it was harsh and angry. She’d never heard him sound like that before.

Slowly, Connie crept up the stairs. The door to Steven’s room was cracked open just enough for her to steal a peek inside.

Steven sat facing away from her on his bed. His back was tense, and in the palm of his hand was a small cube that projected a video feed of Peridot.

Connie’s initial relief at seeing Peridot was quickly overshadowed by confusion. Peridot’s visor had lost its butterfly like shape and reverted back to a plain square that covered half her face. Moreover, the limb enhancers Peridot had abandoned long ago were back.

“…with limited resources!” Peridot pulled at her already frayed hair as she nervously fiddled with her limb enhancers. “I can’t—“

“Quiet!” Connie winced at Steven’s booming voice. He let out a deep sigh. “Just do as you’re told.”

“B-but, I’ll be shattered if I’m caught back—“

“I’ll shatter you myself if you don’t get this done. Understood?”

Connie stifled a gasp.

Peridot’s shoulders drooped. “I… yes, my Diamond.

“Good. I just need to gather some materials before I get started on my end. It shouldn’t take too long after that.”

Steven held up something to the video feed. It was small and circular in shape. A ball? Connie squinted. No, a pink bubble.

“After all,” he continued. “You always were a quick builder.”

Connie’s heart dropped. A triangle shaped gem floated in the bubble’s center. It was an unmistakable shade of green. Peridot.

She needed to find the gems. 

The floor creaked as Connie took a step back. She froze.

The door slammed open. 

Steven stood in front of her, wearing a bright smile. It was convincing enough to make Connie doubt what she had just witnessed. The bubble and video feed were nowhere to be seen. 

“Don’t tell me Pearl sent you to check up on me?” He joked. “She’s such a worrywort.”

“Um, yeah,” Connie lied. “She wanted to know if you were feeling any better.” She did her best to keep her voice level, but couldn’t stop the slight tremble of her words. Steven was her closest friend, he would never harm her—so, why then was her heart pounding?

“I should be asking you that. Are you feeling well?” Steven reached out to check her temperature, and Connie flinched, closing her eyes as if expecting a blow. His eyes narrowed dangerously. “You seem… tense.”

“I-I should go,” she stammered. Stepping back slowly, she tried to move away from him.

“Connie,” he said, voice soft and coaxing. Steven stretched a hand out to try and stop her, but she dodged nimbly and rushed down the stairs.

His footsteps followed closely behind her.

Her phone sat on the kitchen table, but Connie abandoned it. She would come back for it later. She didn’t feel safe alone with Steven. Connie slipped out of the front door, and took a moment to close it. 

The door flew open again with a crash.

A hand clamped over her mouth before she could scream.


	7. Embrace The Brand New Day

The warp whistle let out a ugly whine, and Steven resisted the urge to cover his ears.

“You know, I could have warped us here without the warp whistle, right?”

Connie opened her mouth, then promptly closed it. She blinked. “Huh, you’re right.” Shrugging, she gestured vaguely at the zoo. “Well, we’re here.”

Unlike his first time in the Human Zoo, there was no Holly Blue awaiting his arrival. Thankfully, he also wasn’t a prisoner, meaning he didn’t have to worry about the lone Amethyst guard stationed by the entrance.

She had curly hair and a gemstone on her left shoulder—8XM, one of the Famethysts.

“M-my Diamond!” 8XM seemed torn between staying at her post and throwing herself at Steven’s feet. She settled on bowing low, her arms folded in the diamond salute. “It’s an honor to be in your presence!”

Like the Bismuth’s he’d met earlier, 8XM carried an anxiety about her, but there was something else there too. Her eyes gleamed with admiration, and her mouth was slightly agape as if she couldn’t believe he was actually there.

“You don’t have to bow to me, 8XM.” He’d put up an act on Homeworld, but the Human Zoo was different. The only one there who cared about upholding the rules was Holly Blue Agate. Plus, where was the harm in being a little friendly? “We’re friends, just call me Steven.”

8XM’s eyes went as wide as saucers, and she struggled to get a coherent answer out. 

“Wha—friends? You! Me? I couldn’t—I mean, if that’s what you desire, my… Steven?”

She looked to him for approval and flushed when Steven smiled. It was meant to be reassuring, but it only flustered 8XM more.

Connie flicked him on the forehead. 

“Ow.  _ Connie _ .”

“Stop doing that,” she said.

“Doing what?”

“Smiling.” Connie jerked her head in the direction of 8XM who was watching their interaction with poorly concealed curiosity. “You’re going to freak everybody out.”

Steven frowned, and 8XM stiffened.

“Connie,” she pleaded. “maybe you shouldn’t—”

“It’s fine.” 

Connie shoved Steven forward. 

“Hey! What—”

“ _ That’s _ not Diamond.”

8XM’s eyes went wide, and she stared at him. “You mean it actually worked?”

Steven spun around to face Connie. “What happened to not blowing my cover?”

To his surprise, Connie pulled Amethyst 8XM into a headlock and playfully messed up her hair. Light and melodic laughter poured out from her toothy grin.

“Boulder brains here can keep a secret, isn’t that right, 8XM?” 

Amethyst 8XM chuckled and scooped Connie into a tight embrace before setting her down.

“You can count on me,” she said. “Unlike  _ other  _ quartzes, I know when to keep my mouth shut.”

“The Amethysts here can be trusted,” she told him. “Although, you might want to hold back on smiling until I can explain the situation to everybody. Diamond only smiled when…”

Connie never finished her sentence, but the way she grimaced made Steven’s stomach roll. Just how many Famethyst were sitting in a bubble above Diamond’s bed?

8XM stayed at her post while they traversed deeper into the zoo. Like Diamond’s section of the palace, the human zoo was littered with large banners and flags showcasing a crimson Diamond.

Connie seemed to relax the more time passed. The tension in her shoulders lessened, and her near constant glare had softened. There was a pang of longing in Steven’s chest as he watched her from the corner of his eye. She looked so much like  _ his _ Connie.

He desperately wanted to say something, break the silence with a joke, but this version of Connie barely tolerated his presence. Not that he blamed her. Diamond might have been his alternate self, but they were nothing alike. He truly was a Diamond; a shatterer.

Still, it hurt to see the flash of anger in her eyes every time she looked at him.

“Quit staring at me,” she snapped.

Steven flushed.

“Sorry,” he muttered and quickly looked away.

Connie roughly shoved him forward.

“Whatever, let’s just hurry up and find Peridot.”

* * *

Just like the first time Steven had met the Famethyst, they were huddled around their cubbies. The only difference was the aura of despair surrounding them. Their shoulders were slumped, and their gaze was turned downward as they whispered among themselves.

Connie rushed ahead of him.

A tall and lanky Jasper, Skinny, noticed Connie and immediately swept her up in a hug.

“Uh oh,” Connie said, pulling away.“What’s wrong?” 

Skinny grimaced. “Nothing’s wrong. Can’t I be happy to see you? It’s been months, after all. We were beginning to worry.”

“Sorry,” Connie muttered, looking genuinely apologetic. It didn’t last long, however, as her suspicion quickly returned. “But we both know you’re not the hugging type. Did something happen?”

The small crowd of Amethysts stopped their murmuring and finally turned around. They hadn’t noticed Steven yet. They dogpiled Connie, showering her in hugs and friendly noogies.

“You’re back!” One cheered.

“You’re not dead!” another said.

All-in-all the group was a cacophony of whoops and hollers, and Connie absolutely basked in it. She threw friendly punches and toothy smiles to every single member. It reminded Steven of a family reunion, one that he was undoubtedly intruding on.

He cleared his throat to announce his presence, and the effect was immediate. Everyone froze. Backs straightened, shoulders were squared, and Connie scowled at him.

“My Diamond!”

“My opulence!”

“My radiance!”

A chorus of praises rang around the room as the Famethysts all bowed down to him. They stared at him with equal parts adoration and fear. He hadn’t noticed it with 8XM, but the Diamond insignia on their uniforms was not blue like it was in his world.

It was pink.

The group was still, arms formed in the Diamond salute, waiting for Steven’s orders.

“I’m not Pink Diamond,” he blurted out when their unblinking stares became too much for him to bear. “I mean,  _ technically _ , I am—but I’m not your Pink Diamond. I’m not…”

_ I’m not a shatterer,  _ he wanted to say.  _ I’m not going to hurt you. _

“I’m nothing like him,” he eventually said. “You don’t have to bow to me or salute. As far as I’m concerned, we’re equals.”

He flashed them a friendly smile to emphasize his point, but it had the opposite effect. They trembled, legs shaking as they held out the salute like a shield.

“He’s telling the truth,” Connie spoke up, walking over to him and in front of the group. “Diamond abandoned us. He’s gone.”

The Famethysts continued to salute. Connie sighed.

“I can prove it,” she said, and promptly punched him in the arm.

Steven winced and rubbed the spot where he’d been hit.

“How does violence prove anything?”

Connie smirked and kicked his shin.

“You’re not fighting back,  _ Steven _ .”

She dragged out his name as if it were an insult, and with how the Famethyst reacted—pale faces and trembling forms—it might as well have been.

Steven frowned. “I could never hurt you, Connie.”

Skinny looked between them and hesitantly lowered her arms. She stepped toward him slowly and steadily as if traversing a minefield. Her finger shakily reached out to poke his stomach.

Steven raised a brow, but otherwise didn’t move. Skinny reminded him of the cats he had found with Garnet; skittish and afraid. Any sudden movements were sure to scare her off.

When Steven didn’t react, Skinny poked him again, and again, and again. Finally after half a dozen pokes during which Steven did his best not to move, Skinny at last relaxed.

“I don’t believe it,” she said. “It actually worked! You must be from an entirely different universe!”

Seeing that Skinny hadn’t been shattered or even reprimanded for her actions, the remaining Famethyst followed her lead and began to crowd around Steven. There were murmurs of quiet amazement as the Famethyst gently poked and prodded him.

Steven couldn’t suppress his laughter as he was essentially tickled by a group of Quartz soldiers.

“Wait. Stop. Stop,” he breathed out in between laughs. “Please. I’m ticklish.”

The Famethysts backed off, leaving Steven gasping for breath.

“Our Diamond really is gone.”

“He abandoned us…”

“Were we not good enough?”

The tension in the room disappeared only to quickly be replaced by sadness. The Famethyst looked grief stricken; their shoulders were slumped and their eyes had dulled.

Their reactions surprised Steven. Connie had been so overjoyed when she learned Diamond was gone. He assumed the Famethyst would feel the same, but they didn’t. They missed their Diamond.

A sharp cry rang out before he could even think of comforting them. One of the gems, hidden in the back amongst the crowd, toppled onto the ground. Her small form wavered and shook in an unnatural fashion.

“Carnelian!” Skinny cried as she rushed onto the scene. She attempted to steady Carnelian, but her tremors only got worse. “Oh no. It’s getting worse.”

Connie pushed against the crowd and made her way over to Carnelian.

“What’s getting worse, Skinny?” she asked. “What’s wrong with her? You said everything was fine!”

Carnelian continued to writhe on the floor, her limbs growing and shrinking seemingly at random. It was painful to watch, but, at the same time, hauntingly familiar. Steven had seen this before.

“Her gem is cracked…” His voice cut through Skinny and Connie’s ensuing argument. It also served to remind the Famethyst of his presence, as they returned to saluting. There was a grim resignation to their faces as they stepped away from the glitching Carnelian.

The only one who didn’t step away was Connie. She pulled Carnelian close, shielding her from sight with her body.

“Don’t come any closer, Diamond.”

Steven stopped just short of being in arms reach of the pair. The room had fallen silent.

“I can help,” he said. “Just let me see her.”

Connie shook her head and held onto her friend tighter. Her voice wavered.

“Just… leave. For once, leave me alone!”

Carnelian’s form somewhat stabilized, and she reached out to cup Connie’s face. Her eyes watered at the same time a pained smile made its way onto her face.

“It’s okay, Con. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t lie!” Connie said, voice cracking. “I won’t let him… I can’t lose you too!”

“There are thousands of Carnelians, but only one Connie. I don’t want to be the reason you’re hurt.”

In a show of strength, Carnelian stood on her shaking legs and saluted Steven. Connie glared at him through her tears.

“My Diamond…”

Carnelian didn’t hide her gemstone, leaving it on full display; cracks and all. 

Steven winced at a particular deep fissure running across it, worsening by the second. She wouldn’t last much longer if he didn’t do something. 

Licking his palm, Steven approached. He kept an eye on Connie who looked seconds away from attacking him. Only when he finally reached Carnelia did Connie look away.

Carnelian flinched and squeezed her eyes shut when his palm pressed against her gemstone. Thankfully, she didn’t pull away or attempt to fight him.

The cracks closed themselves up, and Carnelian’s gemstone grew brighter. Her arms and legs returned to their normal size, and she slowly opened her eyes.

“You… healed me?” 

Steven carefully examined her gemstone. “Does it still hurt?”

It’s shine was back, but there was always the possibility that he had missed a crack. Left alone, it would slowly spread across Carnelian’s gemstone until she was in the same state he’d saved her from. Steven wanted to be sure that he’d healed everything.

A sniffle snapped him out of his examination.

Carnelian’s watery eyes were staring at him with an intensity he didn’t understand. It was then that he realized the room had fallen dead silent. One quick glance at the surrounding Famethyst revealed that they too were intently looking at him. Even Connie had gone quiet; her eyes widened.

“Uh…”

“Thank you my shimmering Diamond!” Carnelian threw herself at his feet, and the rest of the Famethyst followed suit. They kneeled all around him, praising the very ground Steven stood on.

“Your generosity knows no bounds, my radiance.”

“We're in awe of your power, my Diamond.”

It was as if they were under a spell, forever cursed to compliment Steven. Their trance broke when Connie tackled Carnelian into a hug. Her laughter was loud and full of relief.

“You’re okay!” she cheered.

Applauds and shouts of joy echoed around him as the Famethyst encircled their newly healed friend. Steven stood back, a small smile on his face.

He tried to make himself scarce while the Famethyst celebrated, but one-by-one they all eventually came up to thank him personally. Connie caught up with them, looking happier than he’d ever seen her. Although, when he caught her gaze she would become pensive, her smile diming.

Unfortunately, the Famethyst didn’t know specifically where Peridot was stationed. So, after a few hugs and goodbyes for Connie and several more praises thrown his way, they were off in search of Peridot.

* * *

  
  


Steven stayed silent as they searched the human zoo for Peridot. Connie walked slowly and aimlessly; her mind was clearly elsewhere. It was as they finished pacing the same large hallway for the fifth time did Steven finally voice his thoughts.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t heal Carnelian?”

That Connie’s first instinct was to hide Carnelian bothered him. The resignation of the Famethysts doubly so.

“Can you really blame me?” Connie was staring at Steven, but it felt more like she was looking straight through him. It was a look he was quickly becoming familiar with. At that moment Connie wasn’t talking to him; she was talking to Diamond. “I don’t exactly see you as the healing type.”

This world’s Connie and Steven weren’t friends. He could accept that. What bothered him was this Connie's insistence on treating Steven as Diamond.

“I’m not like him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

Connie started to walk away, but Steven pulled her back by the wrist.

“Connie, talk to me.”

“I said drop it, alright?” Connie yanked her hand out of his grip and shoved him backwards.

That was the last straw.

“What is your problem with me?” He snapped.

“ _ Me? _ What the fuck is wrong with  _ you _ ?” Connie shouted. “You show up here, and you’re just so.. Argh! I don’t get it! What is your deal? What are you after?”

“Look, I get that the Steven you know isn’t the nicest of people, bu—”

“Not the nicest of people?” Connie scoffed. “He’s  _ shattered _ dozens of gems whose only crime was catching him during a bad mood. Diamond doesn’t care about anyone but himself and his precious Diamond Authority!”

“But _ I’m _ not Diamond.”

“But that’s just it, you are Diamond! You can call yourself Steven, put up this whole innocent act all you want, but at the end of the day you two are identical.”

She shoved him.

“And I’m so  _ sick _ of you pretending to care. Sick of you following me around. Sick of being stuck in your stupid palace. You want to know what my problem is? It’s you.” She jabbed him in the chest. “Ever since I met you, my life has been nothing but disaster after disaster. I  _ hate _ you, Steven Universe.”

“Connie… I…”

What could he say? How could he make up for something that he didn’t even do? There was a raging inferno in Connie’s eyes and it felt like nothing he did could ever hope to extinguish it.

So he didn’t even try.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what you’ve been through and how much of that is Diamonds fault. Once we find Peridot, I promise I won’t bother you anymore. I don’t want to force you to be around me if it's making you uncomfortable.”

Connie’s expression was guarded, but she no longer looked like she wanted him dead.

“Peridot was probably assigned to watching over the zoo,” she said. “She should be in the main control room.”

Her words were cold, and she seemed relieved at the prospect of getting rid of him, but she didn’t jab, poke, or punch him once during their trip to Peridot. She remained silent, but treated him respectfully.

It wasn’t the budding friendship Steven hoped it would be, but it was  _ something.  _

It was a start.

* * *

  
  


Monitors and panels flashed, illuminating the dimly lit room that Steven peered into.

“This is it,” Connie said as she stepped inside.

The inside was larger than he expected. Instead of a single main console, there were dozens of smaller consoles scattered across the room. They each must have controlled a different function of the human zoo.

Amongst it all was a face Steven had sorely missed.

“I’m a certified kindergartner! My intelligence is wasted on this…  _ menial _ labor. Stupid clod Diamond. Pebble for brains. What does he know about anything!”

Peridot sat on a chair as she continually mashed a button, her limb enhancers coming dangerously close to breaking it beyond any hope of repair. She muttered angrily under her breath as she struggled to get a monitor to turn on.

“Stupid archaic hunk of trash. You’re as much of a clod as that brute of a Diamond.”

Steven broke out into a smile.

“It's good to see you too, Peridot.”

A high pitched squeak was Steven’s only warning before Peridot fell on top of him, chair and all. She spouted apology after apology, throwing in praises in between Connie’s snickering. It was impossible for him to get a word in edgewise.

So, Steven waited patiently for Peridot to calm down. Hopefully it wouldn’t be long before she was sending him back home.


End file.
